A little jab could do ya….in

CANBERRA: The nation’s top health experts here are urging older Australians to go ahead and get their second AstraZeneca COVID-19 vaccine shot, although they admit it might be wise to update their wills first.


SYDNEY: Brain-injury specialists here have repeated their calls for Paul Gallen to hang up his gloves after the pummeling he received earlier this week during his tenth-round TKO loss to Australian heavyweight champion Justis Huni.

“Mr Gallen doesn’t have a single brain cell left that he can afford to lose,” the specialists said in a fresh statement. “And that’s probably been the case even before he started playing rugby league.”


GOSFORD, NSW: A middle-aged woman who attended a local private hospital earlier this morning has been admitted for several days’ psychiatric observation.

Worried nurses at reception popped her in a wheelchair and rushed her to a secure bed after the poor thing claimed that not only did she understand everything Parnell Palme McGuiness said in her column in today’s Sydney Morning Herald but agreed totally with all of it.