Push for new 2032 events

2032 OLYMPICS:

A seemingly foolproof plan has been hatched to ensure Australia wins a swag of gold medals at the 2032 Olympics if they end up being hosted by Brisbane.

Sources within the Australian Olympic Committee said there would be pressure brought to bear on the event’s global administration body, the International Olympic Committee, to amend the official list of sporting events for the 2032 summer Games.

The Bug has previously reported on moves to have cane toad golf added to the list of events but more sports are also expected to be included in time for any Brisbane Games.

“There’s also a big push under way right now to have Australian Rules Football included in the 2032 Olympics,” an AOC source revealed.

“If that pans out then it means Australia is most likely to bag at least one gold medal before the Games even start as well as a silver and bronze in the same event.

“If we get the IOC to accept men’s and women’s AFL, then that’s two gold, two silver, and two bronze for starters.

“Some within the AOC also want to revive the sport of dwarf throwing that we believe originated on the Gold Coast in the 1980s and spread around the world. (main picture)

“There are also moves to have a new event included for 2032 called double-triple competitive chanting.

“It involves teams from different countries performing a national chant that must comply with very specific rules.

“The rules would dictate that the chant must include the nation’s name or a diminutive of it plus another exclamation. That’s the ‘double’.

“The ‘triple’ part of the rules stipulate that both expressions must be repeated three times.  

“We reckon that ‘Aussie Aussie Aussie. Oi oi oi!’ is a dead cert for another gold, although some in the AOC reckon ‘USA USA USA’ might edge us out on a technicality since it incorporates the country name as an exclamation.

“Come the actual event in 2032 it might well come down to lawyers at 50 metres, which incidentally is another possible event we’re looking at,” the source said.