In a world exclusive, The Bug has been handed some torn-out pages of the daily diary of the former Sports Minister Bridget McKenzie at the height of the so-called Sports Rorts Affair that cost her place in the ministry.
APRIL 2, 2019:
7.40pm: One of my senior staffers just popped in to say that tonight’s Budget has added another $42.5 million to the Community Sport Infrastructure Grant Program taking it to more than $100 million. I told her: “That’s nice, hun. That’s a lot of extra work for whoever administers that. You wouldn’t know where I’ve misplaced my shotgun cleaning cloth, oil bottle and pull-through?” Honestly, sometimes I think I’d lose my head and the pretty, rather impish face it frames if it wasn’t screwed on.
APRIL 3, 2019:
9.30am: Some of my ministerial advisers just came in to borrow my full range of Texta coloured pens. I wonder if they’re drawing up a good-luck card for the campaign seeing an election now seems very much on the cards. That would be lovely.
APRIL 4, 2019:
Well, I’ve just signed off on all the sports grants list for the third round of applications. I wonder if I should have popped them in a registered Australian Post package to make sure Sports Australia gets them safely. Which reminds me of safety catches. Memo to self: I must remember to renew my gun club membership. I think it’s due. I must also ask my principle private secretary to help me find my airline tickets and documentation seeing I’m heading west later tonight.
Gosh, I can be a nervous nellie sometimes. I’m on my way out to the airport and I’m wondering what the chances are that someone in my office might change the final approvals I’ve just signed off on. Stop being so silly, girl! You’d come down on them like a ton of bricks if anything so foolish was contemplated, let alone attempted. They’d be out the door in a jiffy. You do overthink things sometimes, you silly sausage. Thank goodness the Prime Minister and his office had absolutely nothing to do with the whole process. He told me the other day he’d always have my back. I’m glad I’ll soon be out on the hustings. Being a minister can really be boring with all that silly paper work and heavens above, the workload with all those endless meetings – blah, blah, blah – and stuff! Hopefully I can get in some time on the range at a Perth gun club and let my lovely hair down and relax if just for a few hours and shoot the breeze. Oh, you can be a funny little thing when you try!