Standards dangling on the edge

The Glass House knows from social mediocre chatter among washed-up, retired hack journos that they believe any attempts to stop the young-uns in the trade using the dangling participle are a lost cause.

Indeed, it’s true that the tyros, especially in the electronic mediocre, seem to think the dangling participle is some badge of honour. Their contribution to the moving, evolving feast that is the English language in common use, like.

But not we Buggers! We deplore the fact that you can probably hold your breath at the start of any commercial TV news around the country and not breathe out until the first DP is heard – and you’d survive.

The Bug refuses to give up the campaign and continues to plea with the tyros, especially the TV news darlings: it’s not that fucking hard to read your notes before spraying them. Changing a word or two can put an end to the DP silliness.

For if you don’t give a rat’s arse about DPs, what’s next? Tense doesn’t matter any more either? Logical sentence structure is so, so ancient? Noun, then verb, then subject – what a lot of tosh? It’s not as if you have to worry about how to spell, and that’s probably a blessing.

Our latest example of DP horror comes from Channel 9’s US correspondent Alexia Daish who came up with this gem after President Donald Trump left Walter Reed Hospital and returned to the White House.

“Waking up in Pennsylvania Avenue, physicians confirmed….”

Oh, dear.

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A timely call for a minister to resign

Glass House is considering a regular award to the mainstream media columnist for the most manufactured “over the top” “faux outrage” response to some current issue.

Yes, we know. You’re probably thinking the winner will always be a rightwing nut job and the person being attacked will more often than not be a hapless left-wing politician.

Which brings us to a possible inaugural winner for such glory: Mike O’Connor who contributes columns for The Courier-Mail and other Newscorpse organs.

Now we’re not saying Mike is a right-wing nutjob – some of his observations seem quite reasonable – but we’re starting to get the sense that somewhere in Mike’s thinking is a Des Houghton or Peter Gleeson in waiting.

For yonks, O’Connor made us laugh with his yarns surrounding his stumbling, bumbling persona that quickly gave you the impression Mike couldn’t take a dump without at least one finger breaking through the shitpaper.

In a recent rant, Mike said this: “If there were any standards of decency in Queensland politics, then Deputy Premier and Minister for Health Steven Miles would resign following his comments on Donald Trump contracting COVID-19.”

Oh, Mike, really? So forceful and so demanding – and right on the eve of the official start to the state election. As the French wouldn’t say: Tres coincidencement!

What a blow it would be for Labor’s re-election chances if such a senior minister were to fall on his sword for some unspeakably heinous crime!

Des and Peter would be proud, if perhaps a little nervous of a usurper in their midsts.

And Miles’s career-ending comment, according to Mike O’Connor? Miles tweeted: “Have you considered intravenous disinfectant?” in replied to US President Donald Trump’s own tweet announcing he had tested positive to COVID-19.

How dare you, sir! Clear our your desk and begone with you, you , you … total cad, you!

But as Senator Rumson from The American President might say: “Never mind that Trump back in April copped a lot of flak from the top quacks over his suggestion that coronavirus might be treated by injecting disinfectant into the body.

“Never mind that doctors said it was dangerous and irresponsible.”

Miles didn’t step back from his tweet, although he made it clear that he wished Trump and FLOTUS a full recovery from COVID-19.

Considering the number of mind-blowingly stupid and irresponsible things Trump has said about coronavirus over months now – and we can’t think of any worse than when a man who has just received the world’s best medical care and the latest experimental drugs tells poor black and Hispanic Americans with no health cover to learn to live with COVID and not be afraid of it – we say to Miles: have as much fun with the Orange Baboon as you like. And let’s hope for the world’s sake, he’s thrown out of office in less than a month’s time.

To Mike O’Connor, who appears in danger of using only the far-right side of his brain and could at this very moment be penning a piece calling on the Polish Princess to resign over a bad case of halitosis, we say: “Lighten the fuck up!”

“Leave resignation calls for when they are deserved. Something new should come out about a federal government minister before the day’s out.”

“Otherwise, please go back to writing essays about the numerous times you fell over after tying your shoelaces together.”