US President Donald Trump says his debate with Democratic Party challenger Joe Biden in Cleveland, Ohio, yesterday was “not a fair fight” because of “media bias by the fake news moderator”.
Following the live event Mr Trump turned his fire on Fox News anchor Chris Wallace who chaired the first of a planned three presidential election debates.
The President said he hoped the second debate set for 15 October in Miami, Florida, would be a more sedate and uplifting experience.
He rejected widespread criticisms of his own performance that was described as abusive, blustering and bullying.
“I behaved like a perfect gentleman on that debate stage. I know more about debating than anyone else and I know how to behave and I behaved perfectly. Perfectly. Very perfectly,” Mr Trump said.
“Sadly it was Sleepy Scary Socialist Sappy Joe Biden who dragged down the whole event with his outrageous statements and even more outrageous behaviour.”
But Mr Trump, normally a fan of the right-wing Fox News, also attacked one of the network’s big-name stars who moderated the encounter.
“Chris Wallace is a pussy – and not a pussy I’d like to grab, by the way,” he said.
“He blatantly allowed Slow Sluggish Slothful Saggy Joe Biden to break all the rules and really lower the tone of the debate.
“He favoured Scabby Scaly Scrawny Scrotum-Scratching Joe Biden throughout the debate.
“He was probably worried that Sweaty Sickly Skeletal Sallow Joe Biden might die on stage from the well advanced heart condition I hear he is suffering from, or the complications from the very early onset dementia some people say he has been covering up for years. Maybe decades.
“Some people have even told me that they think Sciatic Sclerotic Scrambled Sedated Joe Biden might be already in a coma. He certainly gave every indication of that when I was standing near him on the stage yesterday.
“It was up to Chris Wallace to pull him into line and he didn’t do that. Not once.”
Mr Trump said he was especially annoyed that Wallace refused to let him throw human faeces at the former vice-president during the debate (main picture).
“It was very fresh faeces. Very fresh. I just squeezed some out before going on stage,” he said.
“But Chris Wallace ruled that out of order which just goes to show that there are no depths to which he wouldn’t sink to give Stagnant Sedentary Sphincter-Sniffing Joe Biden an unfair advantage over someone like me who was playing by the rules all the way through the debate. All the way,” the President said.