Before I rant, could all those who believe in the tooth fairy and their distant relatives who live at the bottom of the garden please click out.
And that also applies to those of you who believe in the Easter Bunny and Santa Claus. Off you go now.
Now, let’s get down to a big dose of reality.
Does anyone seriously believe that Scott Morrison, the man who turned himself from a reviled and cowardly bushfire disaster avoider into the “father of our nation” during the current corona coughathon is now the best friend Australian workers have ever had?
That somehow, he’s….. hold on. Wait just a moment.
Is there anyone still with us who believes anything Gerard Henderson has ever had to say? I thought so. Off you go. There must be someone you can listen to on 2GB right at this moment. Or a crossword in the Spectator to try to complete.
Now, where was I?
Ah, yes, Smoko. The Liar from the Shire. The Crime Minister. The Happy Clapper, Slogan Bogan, Crook from Cook.
As an act of good faith, he’s ditched his horrendous union-busting Ensuring Integrity Bill and has called on unions and employers to work with him to create a brave new world post COVID-19 where everyone works harmoniously together to reboot our economy and all sides are winners, with profits and good paying jobs aplenty.
I’m sorry folks, but if you believe that, you’ll believe it when I tell you that Jack the Ripper was so filled with remorse after his prostitute slayings that he purchased nice headstones for each of their graves.
And that Adolf Hitler ordered warm, fluffy towels for the shower block at Auschwitz.
Oooh. My online analytics tell me I’ve just lost a few more readers.
Still, it’s now lovely to be communicating only with intelligent people with clear, analytical minds.
Let’s have a recap of the history of the Australian working man and woman’s new BFF.
This is the senior minister in the Mad Monk’s prime ministership who happily helped work the word “corruption” as a statement of fact into the $60 million-plus taxpayer-funded witchhunt into trade unions.
As I’ve said many times and never tire of repeating: “If you hate trade unions, you hate workers.”
That RC was before he was dragged screaming and kicking into the one into “misconduct”, highly improbably as that might be, into the banks and other financial institutions.
Remember that commission’s findings? The ones that made Australian trade union officials look among the most decent and honest folk in the nation.
This is the man who has spent his entire adult life shouting the benefits of “trickle-down” economics and no-one has had his fly down and enjoyed pissing on the working class more as the world’s rich have gotten richer and the poor can go fuck themselves.
This is the leader of a political party that went into the last federal election boasting that suppressing workers’ wages was a deliberate and central part of economic policy.
The man who happily saw weekend penalty rates taken off hospitality and other workers, saying the move would mean more jobs. It didn’t.
This is the man who, alongside Treasurer Josh Frydenberg, has been arguing throughout the current coronavirus crisis that on the other side of it, lower taxes for business, simpler awards and less red tape – Institute of Public Affairs catchphrases – are the pathways to economic recovery.
The bloke who repeatedly refused, late in the week, to promise no workers would be worse off from whatever comes out of these crucial talks.
Clearly, Morrison expects nothing to come of the deep and meaningfuls he wants the parties to engage in as soon as possible.
Labor has washed its hands of them and Sally McManus also knows what’s coming but is playing along with Smoko just to be nice while having some fun playing our PM off a break, as you do.
Maybe, though, I’ve got it all wrong? The Australian trade movement might go along with some version of Work Choices that will only lead to more shitty, poorly paid, split-shift hours in hospitality and I’ve completely missed the mark …
Hold on … it’s gone very dark in my home office here all of a sudden. I’d better go check.
Crikey! There’s an unbelievably large herd of flying pigs flying overhead. It’s impossible to count them even though they are not far up and moving rather slowly in perfect formation.