Mal’s memoir sets publishing milestones

PUBLISHING:

Australia’s most loved, most revered and by far richest and most handsome prime minister ever has set world records in publishing with his updated memoir, A Blank Canvas.

The Bug can reveal that the much-anticipated tome has broken world publishing records for the most value lost off the retail price at reputable book stores everywhere in the shortest possible time and the most drastically remaindered book in history – and that’s with still a month to go to its official launch.

As we went to press, Dymocks – if they’re still operating – had the $55 book on online presale at $42.99, booktopia was at $40.75 while across town Angus and Robertson had the book at $38.50 but it’s been a few minutes since we last looked.turnbull book in crapper - net

And up in Brisbane in a remainder bin outside a closed Borders bookshop, one customer who was grabbing copies at only $1.99 each told The Bug rather embarrassingly: “I’ve run out of loo paper.”

“This surely must be the next best thing.”

The 29th Prime Minister of Australia’s latest autobiography proudly updates how he fucked over the NBN on Tony Abbott’s orders, how he displayed all the warmth and enthusiasm of a flat AAA battery in his one prime-ministerial tilt on the hustings,  and how he then almost held off a leadership challenge two years ago from Peter Dutton and Scott Morrison by jettisoning at the last moment just about everything he had ever believed in which wasn’t a lot when you really come to think about it.