Keep your cakehole shut, Clive


Is there anyone stupider among politicians, past or present, than Clive Palmer?

Appreciate that’s a big call, given he comes from the same state as Pauline Hanson and Malcolm Roberts who wouldn’t qualify for Mensa even if you combined their IQs and then doubled them.

But dumb is as dumb does, for the worker-hating fat prick from up north, ay, was at it again recently, using a public megaphone to remind the Morrison government that he alone got them reelected.

I fully agree. Palmer’s $82 million, largely anti-Labor ad spend in last year’s federal election campaign got Morrison’s motley crew across the line.tell shifty - palmer ad on election day - net

But here’s why Palmer is so, so fucking dense that you’d rather have Fraser Anning as a dinner guest, and not just because he wouldn’t eat the legs off the table once the food ran out.

Palmer’s election spend has made him reviled among a sizeable minority of Australians still fuming that a shit government didn’t get tossed.

So a heartfelt plea to Palmer; stop bragging about your role in that, you fucking moron!

If you think the government owes you one and they do – and by that we mean fast-tracked approval for your central Queensland coal projects – pick up the phone and do it discreetly.

You only have to speak to a handful of people. Tell them you’ll spend up big again next time. They’re used to lies.

Don’t rub our noses in the shitshow you helped keep in power or people power might just rise up and do its best to make sure not one lump of coal ever leaves your coal mines.


Are there two Scott Morrisons out there, working in parallel universes, one that I cannot for the life of me see?

The question’s got to be asked because David Crowe is the latest mainstream political scribe to assign to the Morrison he watches worthy attributes I’m buggered if I can spot.

In a column piece a few days ago, Crowe, the Sydney Morning Herald’s chief political correspondent, reminded us that our PM is “a formidable political opponent”.

Scottie Morrison? The Liar from the Shire? The Crook from Cook? The Slogan Bogan Pentecostal Happy Clapper? The Smirking Shirker? That one?scomo genius web

This surely is not the same bloke I watch? The one who mangles his words during every presser? The PM who always manages to come up with meaningless and stupid three-word slogans such as “technology before taxes”.

Why am i not seeing the Einstein of politics here?

Of course, Crowe is not alone in thinking Morrison has a certain political skillset.
But we all know what’s it’s based on; that “miracle” election win last May.

Many MSM political scribes love a winner so much they forget how Morrison won. Each week we learn more about how the May 18 outcome was more mendacious manipulation than miracle.

Of course, there are some MSM journos who see through Morrison – or see the one I see.

Remember when Fran Kelly in the Insiders chair last last year pondered how Morrison could have so badly stuffed things up by holidaying in Hawaii. Paraphrasing a bit here, she said the PM usually had a good ear for politics.

The immediate calls of “No” from two of the panel to cover the snorts of derision they managed to suppress showed us that not all political scribes have swallowed the line that Morrison had campaigned magnificently rather than stumbled Bradbury like across the line.

It’s time Crowe dipped his wings, got a fair bit closer to the ground and saw Morrison for who and what he really is.