King Karl shows some raw emotion

ENTERTAINMENT:

Gold Logie winner Karl Stefanovic has lashed out bitterly over a Nine Entertainment direction that he and Today co-host Allison Langdon must do their national morning show in the nude from now on.

Yes, it’s true. The Bug in a world exclusive can reveal that starting mid-week, Karl and Allison will be on air au natural!

“I know our ratings are a bit in the potty but this nude edict is completely out of order and a gross overreaction to surmountable problems,” Stefanovic told The Bug after tapping Friday’s show from the Australian Open in Melbourne.

“Look, don’t get me wrong. Despite what looks like a rather pudgy face on screen these days, I’m still pretty buffed and ripped for a man of 45.

“So going nude doesn’t bother me at all.

“And I know our news desk and camera angles will ensure that generally my genitalia won’t be shown.

“Which is probably for the best. I don’t want to be responsible for breaking up otherwise good marriages all over this country,” he added with his renowned naughty-boy look and cheeky wink.

“And I guess if I have to tape any segments with me standing erect beside a studio screen, props will find a big enough clipboard, hey?”

Stefanovic said his objections to the station’s nude edict were more to protect his lovely co-host from embarrassment than his own interests or concerns.

“Ally is a beautiful girl – that’s obvious in every shot you see of her – but I have insisted that we approach this new style of nude presentation by recognising and respecting her as an intelligent, independent, woman and not just as some piece of naked flesh.

“We are, after all in the Me Too era, and besides she hasn’t got the biggest baps in the world, has she?

“At least they won’t be resting on the top of our news desk. She is 40, you know.”

Stefanovic said there was a far simpler and logical solution to the show’s poor ratings so far in 2020.

“Since my return, the show’s producers have insisted I arrive on set every morning stone cold sober.

“I know Ally and have worked our tits off, so to speak, to develop some faux on-screen chemistry between us but I keep telling them: I come across my loveable, cheeky-boy best when I’ve got, you know, a bit of a glow on.

“I’ve been in this game long enough to know just how much to drink simply to loosen the tongue a little, to get the punchy questions to flow while coming across as a bit of a naughty boy yet staying within acceptable limits.

“I’ve learned from experience that I can’t be completely logied and do the job that’s expected of me.

“Just let me have a few stiff drinks each night up to when the cab comes at 4am for me and Ally and I are going to turn this thing around without the need to get our kits off.”