Taking a new line on sex

New research on the sex lives of young Australians has got the The Bug’s finance and investment advice columnist thinking in his own unique way.

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Dear Morrie

This isn’t really a question seeking financial or investment advice, but I’m not sure who else might help. You see the other day I noticed newspapers around the country carried a story about research into the sex lives of young Australians (main picture).

It seems they aren’t having as much sex as those of their parent’s generation and social media and smartphones and the like are getting the blame. It seems young people today are not accustomed to speaking face to face when it comes to meeting someone with whom they may form a romantic attachment.

I think this is a bad sign of where our society is headed. Do you agree? If so, what can be done?

Curious
Caloundra, Qld

 

Dear Curious

You know for some time I’ve been worried about this trend myself.

As an astute observer of humankind I’ve noticed how often young people these days are stuck staring at their mobile phones talking to each other instead of talking to each other the old-fashioned way — face to face.

This latest research you mention suggests they prefer to communicate via their electronic devices and not in person.

It means there are far fewer pants-off dance-offs happening than there were in, say, our generation.

Plus youngsters now seem to get all their information about sex from internet pornography sites.

Well, the old Morrie is no prude and as a young bloke I admit to buying a few subscriptions to magazines that arrived in my letterbox in plain brown wrappers.

But that never stopped me from talking to and, shall we say, interacting with the opposite sex if I got lucky.

To my mind there’s obviously a need to tackle this problem facing the younger generation by returning to a tried and true method that combines personal communication and conversation with modern technology.

My idea is to establish an old-fashioned service and promote it to youngsters via the internet and social media.

It will be a nationwide service and youngsters can still use their mobile phones but, when the urge for some belly-bumping takes hold, instead of just staring at their phones and sending text messages they’ll be able to ring a number and actually talk to someone.

I don’t want t boast but the old Morrie has a fair few connections in the personal liaison industry and lots of experience as a consumer of such intimate services.

So I’ll certainly be able to tap a few old friends of both sexes to get the party started, so to speak.

It’ll cost to sign up for access but I reckon there’s a market there that will show some healthy returns while addressing an urgent social problem.

By having them engage with a real live person I am sure many young Aussies will find that they are soon meeting up to join giblets.

Now quite frankly this little community service project of mine will take a fair bit of moolah to get off the ground.

But I figure in the current circumstances when true blue Aussies are of a mind to help others in distress — be they neighbours, friends, relatives, strangers, or marsupials — then I reckon we’ve got a good shot at raising the dosh we need.

So if you want to set an example and kick in to help get my project off the ground you’re more than welcome.

Just send a donation — one or two Ks at the bare minimum — to my new fund and I’ll get things moving at my end.

Send a cheque to me via The Bug and make it out to Call Australia’s Sex Hotline.

Bugger it, to save your time and mine, just make it out to CASH.

I’ll be in touch.

Morrie

Morrie Bezzle is CEO of Text Massage Home-Visit Personal Services,  general manager of Analog DIY Enema Kits, and director of Emale A Dress Confidential Online Cross-Dressing Services Pty Ltd.