Teen activist stays home

anews in brief dinkus

CANBERRA: Australian teenage environmental activist Scomo Turdberg (main picture) says she will not be travelling to Spain to attend the UN climate conference in Madrid.

“I see no reason for me or anyone else for that matter to go to Madrid,” Ms Turdberg said.

“It’s not as if there’s any urgency or any sort of emergency that requires my presence or attention there.

“Actually I’m pretty well tied up here in Australia right now, what with the non-seasonal bushfires breaking out all over the place, the ongoing drought, and all the arguments over the lack of water for irrigation to feed our nation and the world.

“Besides, I’m not getting on a boat. Quite frankly, if I can’t fly up the pointy end then I ain’t going anywhere.

“How good is the pointy end?” she said.

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BRISBANE: Cojoined twins Dave and Trevor Klump (pictured) say the global movement against sexual harassment of women has aggravated their financial problems.

“It’s not easy living as cojoined twins,” the 45-year-olds said. “Apart from the obvious physical obstacles we face, there are also all the extra costs we face for having special clothes, and adapting our house and furniture and our car, and everything else others take for granted.twinsjoined

“We thought we had a solution when we decided to set up a crowd-funding social media account, with the hashtag #metwo.

“But we’ve raised nothing. All we get is people sending abuse because they think we are trying to cash in on a serious but unrelated social problem.

“We’ve even been threatened with a lawsuit by the #metoo people themselves.

“It sure doesn’t help that we’re two white middle aged blokes,” they said.

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MELBOURNE: Proof has emerged that former prime minister Tony Abbott visited convicted child sex offender and former Catholic Archbishop of Sydney, Cardinal George Pell, in his Melbourne jail earlier this week.

apell abbott blurredMr Abbott was caught and filmed outside the jail by a Channel 7 news crew this week but refused to confirm the identity of the person he visited inside.

However, a blurry picture taken on a prison insider’s mobile phone confirms the two men met and that Pell may even have heard Abbott’s confession.

The Bug has not sought comment from Mr Abbott, knowing it would be a waste of time and may spoil a good fake news story.