Search for new Courier editor ends

MAINSTREAM MEDIA APPOINTMENTS:

The search for the new editor of Brisbane’s The Courier-Mail is over, with an excited News Corp Australasia executive chairman Michael Miller announcing the winning candidate this morning.

The new man at the helm of Brisbane’s monopoly daily tabloid is Joseph Goebbels, Minister of Propaganda of Nazi Germany from 1933 to 1945. He replaces Sam Weir who moves to Melbourne to edit the Herald Sun.joseph goebbels.jpg

Herr Goebbels, 122, will be flown from Berlin almost immediately so he can shape the paper’s political stance and influence well in advance of the Queensland state election due on Saturday October 31 next year.

Herr Goebells (pictured right, looking righter) was one of a number of top candidates who sought the job after Mr Miller recently took the unusual step of making a public call for candidates to contest the position alongside internal News Corp hopefuls and other “talents” the media group had its eyes on.

Mr Miller said this morning Herr Goebbels had greatly impressed the selection panel with his simple pledge as spelled out in his application to “simply follow orders from New York or  anywhere else”.

“News Corp has made it abundantly clear that we will be taking all steps possible over the next 11 months to rid the Sunshine State of this rotten, socialist government of Anna Palaszczuk before this wonderful state is wrecked forever,” Mr Miller said.

“The balanced, fair and professional approach the paper and its sister masthead Sunday Mail adopted for the last two state elections will, sadly, have to be abandoned for this crucial state election (main images above).

“I know that will upset the likes of Renee Viellaris and Steve Wardill but too much is at stake and that’s why we think Herr Goebbels is our man.”

The Bug understands that while Herr Goebells does not speak English, the selection panel quickly ascertained from his CV and application form that, in the words of one senior executive at the paper, “he’s made of the reich stuff that Queenslanders can relate to”.

“We know of his absolute dislike of real socialism that’s not national and as indicated in his candidacy material he will abruptly and brutally implement any orders ‘from above’,” Mr Miller added.

“Herr Goebbels is bunkered down and ready for the fight and my guess is that the dying, scandal-plagued Palaszczuk government is in for a nazi shock.”

Mr Miller said the only condition Herr Goebbels had placed on accepting the lucrative five-year appointment was that any Jews currently employed by News Queensland up at Bowen Hills had be taken out the back by the railway line immediately and shot.

“All I want to say on that matter is that there is currently no impediment whatsoever to Herr Goebells’ commencing his duties immediately,” Mr Miller said.