Sanders slams Bug ‘fake news’

Donald Trump’s press secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders has slammed as “treasonable fake news” reports by The Bug online earlier this week that the President would not contest a second four-year term in the Oval Office.

A visibly shaken Ms Huckabee struggled for control as she spat out invective after invective about The Bug‘s report that claimed Mr Trump would not run in November 2020 because he could not afford to pay First Lady Melania the $1 million a month fee she charges to hold her husband’s hand in public and for other “undisclosed” services.

“I’ve never read such risible rubbish,” Ms Sanders said in the White House media room, her voice often breaking and with the experienced media operator clearly close to tears.

“The President can’t run for a third term so do you think such an astute businessman would give a flying fuck or pay one red cent for Melanie to hold his fucking hand or not during his second and final term,” she shouted.

“What’s in it for him? The master of the art of the deal? Nothing!

“Once his successful re-election is over in November next year against whatever uncharismatic, geriatric, has-been or never-was candidate the Dems put forward, the  President will probably ditch Melanie for someone younger and prettier and with natural boobs.

“Do you think his core supporters care two hoots how he treats women?”

As Ms Sanders tidied up her notes to leave, the entire White House press corp burst into applause, network rivals hugged and some sobbed openly.

“Do you know how long we’ve waited for some plain, honest truth-telling in this room,” said one veteran scribe, unashamedly wiping away tears.