Egging incident ‘a game changer’


Excited Liberal Party strategists are combing the life history of the woman who allegedly egged Prime Minister Scott Morrison this morning in the hope that she might be a former illegal boat arrival.

“It will be a double bonus if it turns out she’s also a Muzzi,” said one who asked not to be quoted.

Mr Morrison was struck on the back of the head with an egg similar to the one pictured above during a campaign visit to a Country Women’s Association (CWA) event at Albury, on the NSW-Victorian border.

“Mr Morrison was only ruing at a strategy meeting this morning how frustrating it is that he can’t dog whistle any more over Muslim refugees in the wake of the Christchurch massacres,” the strategist said.

“I know the PM has been praying – quite literally – for weeks now for some illegal boats to appear over the horizon so if this person turns out to be the person we hope she is, this could be the election game-changer right here, right now.

“The PM often tells us God moves in mysterious ways.”

Meanwhile, a modest Mr Morrison played down talk of a bravery award for how he reacted to the attack.

“That’s just silly talk,” he said. “But it is true I reacted with amazing speed to help that old lady who had been knocked down. I picked her up and gave her a hug, and I guess that would be a very special treat for any CWA member.

“I also told her that she had nothing to fear if she were a self-funded retiree unless that nasty lying Bill Shorten took my job.

“Others have also noticed how I asked media to back away and for lights to be dimmed and generally took control of the situation as any leader would.”

But at the same time, Mr Morrison urged all sides of politics not to try to “politicise” the incident.

“I guess we all wonder how we’re going to perform when it come to that time when you need to stand up and be counted and now I know,” he said.

“While I have no doubt that shifty, sneaky Bill Shorten could not have reacted anywhere near as well as I did nor display the inherent leadership gifts I possess,  I’ll let others be the judge of just how brave I was.”

STOP PRESS: A snap survey by respected BAKV* pollsters taken hours after the attack showed the LNP ahead of Labor 61% to 39% on two-party preferred terms.