Hayne report has ‘raised eyebrows’

banking commishBanks have their say

The peak body for Australian banks says it will take time to assess all the recommendations of the Hayne Royal Commission and their implications for its members.

CEO of the Australian Banking Association, former Queensland premier Anna Bligh, said the commission’s findings “have already raised eyebrows” within the industry.

The Bug asked if her own visage (main picture) was a result of reading the report and its recommendations.

“No, that’s just the botox,” Ms Bligh said. “Nothing I can do about it, unfortunately.”

The Bug asked Ms Bligh what steps she as CEO of the industry peak group was taking in light of the recommendations by the Royal Commissioner’s report for prosecutions against some in the banking sector.

“Well I don’t think anyone in the banking industry has done anything bad enough to deserve jail time, but I’m sending all the CEOs of the ‘big four’ a soap-on-a-rope each just in case,” she said.

Regulator reacts to report

The Bug contacted the financial sector regulator, the Australian Securities and Investments Commission (ASIC) for comment on the Banking Royal Commission’s recommendations.

“Huh? There’s been a Royal Commission?” a senior ASIC officer said.

“When did that happen? Let me get back to you.”

Hayne takes up new role

Fresh from handing the government his report, Royal Commissioner and former High Court judge Kenneth Hayne has already taken up his next appointment.

The Bug can reveal Mr Hayne has been chosen by Network Nine to host this year’s Logie Awards to be telecast from the Gold Coast in July.

A network source said Mr Hayne had already started rehearsing his role as MC for Australian TV’s “night of nights” (pictured).

hayne logies“People didn’t see it during the Royal Commission, but Kenny Hayne’s a real natural when it comes to MC-ing,” the source said.

“He writes his own material too.  The stuff I’ve heard him use already — the jokes, one-liners, and putdowns — will upset some but have others pissing themselves laughing.

“My only concern is that he tends to work ‘blue’ most, if not all, of the time. He makes Rodney Rude sound like a Sunday school teacher.

“Don’t get me wrong, it’s all totally politically correct, just a bit raunchy. But it should all be right on the night after a few more months of rehearsals and some intensive coaching from Bert Newton.”

Columnist in court

The Bug’s own finance and investment columnist Morrie Bezzle appeared in court today on charges of false pretences.

Morrison Edison Phar-Lap Bezzle, no fixed age of Skase Lakes on the Gold Coast, pleaded not guilty to the charges.

Police alleged in the Brisbane Magistrates Court that Mr Bezzle attempted to sell digital copies of the Hayne Royal Commission’s report he had download free from the commission’s website to customers he approached outside several inner-Brisbane banks for the asking price of $399.

Outside court Mr Bezzle said he would fight the charges when he returned to court in May.

“What’s wrong with an entrepreneur like me making a few quid by spreading a bit of knowledge around to those with a vested interest in the commission’s findings?’ he said.

“It’s this type of narrow-minded approach by shiny-arsed bureaucrats that’s holding back our nation.”