Trump declares fight over air farce won

U.S. POLITICS:

Donald Trump has won an unseemly brawl over new livery and a new name for the famed American presidential aircraft Air Force One.

The aircraft’s new paint job (pictured ) was seen in public today for the first time as the aircraft was moved at Andrews Air Force Base near Washington DC.

The Bug can reveal exclusively that the fight has seen the departure of two senior White House figures.

It was a key reason behind the recent resignation of White House chief of staff, former Marine general John Kelly.

The redesign was also bitterly opposed by former Secretary of State Rex Tillerson (pictured) who quit in disgust in March this year.

lee marvinThe Bug understands President Trump personally designed the new look for the aircraft which features a large presidential seal on its tail, but dispenses with more formal artwork on the rest of its fuselage.

The new design includes a bright red nose believed to reference the President’s Make America Great Again caps, and the traditional wording “United States of America” along the length of the aircraft but in the same golden shade and font as the signage applied to Trump Tower in New York and Trump Hotels elsewhere.

A special moulded and aerodynamic cover above the cockpit closely resembles the President’s own hairstyle but has been explained away by US Air Force officials as a camouflaged radar dome.

A new feature is a World War II-style painted mascot near the nose cone showing a scantily clad woman, believed to be based on one of the naked photo-shoots of First Lady Melania Trump in her previous modelling career.

The Bug understands most of the friction between the President, his Chief of Staff and Mr Tillerson arose from Mr Trump’s desire to dispense with the name Air Force One and rename the official aircraft the Pussy Grabber.

“The President didn’t like the term Air Force One. He didn’t think it was snappy enough in a marketing sense,” a White House insider told The Bug.

“Both Mike Kelly and Rex Tillerson tried to explain that the title Air Force One wasn’t actually a name but a designation given to any military aircraft carrying a serving US President.

“Mr Trump couldn’t get his head around that and wanted a permanent, simple, but stand-out name for the big Boeing 747 that he uses most of the time.

“Eventually he just wore down both Mr Tillerson and then Mr Kelly. He wouldn’t accept their arguments that ‘Pussy Grabber’ may not be the best name for an aircraft that traditionally plays a big role in promoting America’s image abroad.

“But in the end the President won the argument simply by refusing to bend and forcing the other two to quit,” the insider said. “Or put another way, he folded his arms, threw a tanti and thumped his shoe heels on the Oval Office carpet over and over and over again until they caved in.”