Sound and smart sex advice for all-comers

The Bug‘s resident sexologist Doctor Dick answers all your questions, hard or soft. 

Dear Doctor Dick
For years I have had a couple of small skin-coloured lumps at the base of the shaft of my penis. I have never experienced any negative symptoms other than an ongoing and nagging question in my own mind about what, if anything, I should do about them.

I have always been too shy to consult my own doctor which is why I am writing to you.

I have also taken the liberty of sending you a photo. What could these little lumps be and should I be worried? Any information you could give me would be great.


Dr Dick replies: I’ve examined the photo you sent. Sorry to break the news to you, but they’re your testicles.

Dear Doctor Dick
I know around six is the average penis length, but mine is four when soft and just under six when hard. How can I make my penis larger, possibly seven or eight?

Trevor T

Dr Dick replies: Start using the metric system.

Dear Doctor Dick
I am a 33-year-old with a very distinct curvature of the penis that has caused more than one girlfriend to complain. My last girlfriend flatly refused to have sex with me after experiencing a fling with a guy she said had a straight penis that matched her anatomy better than my bent version. “Hit the right spots” as she charmingly put it.

I have had similar complaints over the years and I have just about had it! I know from previous medical consultations that I don’t have Peyronie’s disease and my penis works just fine. In fact, I enjoy sex and am only worried that I may lose the opportunity to find the right mate simply because she doesn’t like my dick.

When flaccid my penis points 90 degrees to the ground vertically, but has a noticeable 35 degree lean to the left, when looking down at it. Once it is erect, it is approximately 70 degrees vertical and the curvature is worse at almost 45 degrees. I really want to do something about it soon. What drugs or other methods are available?


 Dr Dick replies: Have you tried having sex upside down, or with a geometry teacher?

Dear Doctor Dick
I’ve only just read this previous letter online and found it very interesting. Exactly what is Peyronie’s disease?


Dr Dick replies: French surgeon, François de la Peyronie, named this condition in the mid-18th century. It refers to the presence of plaque on either the upper or lower side of the penis which hardens and causes the shaft to curve. Repeated application of any reputable brand of toothpaste will easily fix it.

 Dear Doctor Dick
I’m 19 and wondering if having a 7.5-inch penis is normal for my age?


Dr Dick replies: No, 7.5 inches sounds about right but you don’t say how long it is when erect.

Dear Doctor Dick
I don’t have a medical or sex problem, but I just wanted to share an experience with you and your readers. Hopefully it will prevent some anxiety if the same happens to them.

You see, I met up with a young woman on a dating app and she came to my place and gave me oral sex. I didn’t use a condom.

Next morning in the shower, I discovered small but bright red splotches on my dick and immediately started to worry I’d caught something off the woman. It’s when I found I could wash them off that the previous night’s activities came back to me. Turns out they were just lipstick, of course, so if the same happens to anyone else, the lesson is: don’t get anxious.

Justic T

 Dr Dick replies: I know the problem only too well. Many a time as a young man I ended up after a one-night stand with Helena Rubenstein on my penis and, I am not ashamed to say, on occasions after more than a few beers, even Max Factor.