IRAN WAR:

WASHINGTON DC: US President Donald Trump says he expects a deal to be struck quickly by the high-powered delegation he is sending to Pakistan to negotiate with Iran.

“Just like I did in the new Riviera… errr, I mean in Gaza, I am looking for a quick result that delivers real estate … I mean, that delivers real benefits for me and my family companies, oops … I mean for all the people of the Middle East,” Mr Trump said.

“I am confident that I have picked the best negotiating team to do just that by sending Vice-President JD Vance, Steve Witkoff and Jared Kushner (far right and left to right in main picture)

“We have a great opportunity to reshape the Middle East, and I mean that quite literally. There are great future opportunities there, especially for golf courses….. errr, I mean for Gulf countries.

“Just like Gaza, I have a vision for all those sand traps in Iran … I mean, for all those sand tracts that just need some irrigation to realise their full potential.

“So I have told JD and the team to focus on how fairways might be developed … I mean, how a fair way forward for all parties can be achieved. But especially me,” he said.

President Trump said he had also directed the negotiating team to determine if Iran had a spare luxury Boeing 747 to gift him or some sort of gold peace medal.

Meanwhile in Tel Aviv, Israel’s Prime Minister, Benjamin Netanyahu, said he had already begun negotiations with the Lebanese government to resolve the current conflict between the two nations.

“I have already sent the Lebanese authorities a number of handwritten messages this morning,” Mr Netanyahu said. (below)

“I’ll be sending many, many more today and in coming days and weeks as part of my efforts to engage in direct negotiations.”

Mr Netanyahu denied allegations that his latest foray into Lebanon was a blatant attempt to expand Israel’s borders.

“Many critics claim I am not interested in a ceasefire let alone a peace agreement, but nothing could be further from the truth.

“When it comes to Lebanon, there is nothing more I’d like than to see Israel achieve a piece,” he said.

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