Love blood sports? Gladiator movies? Shark attack docos where people get ripped apart. Can’t supress a chuckle whenever you see close-ups of Gazan babies and children blown to pieces as Israel exercises its right to defend itself?

If so, you are cordially invited to watch me on Monday morning when, with a foolish me as a client, I tick off a bucket list item and conduct my own appeal in the District Court against a magistrate’s speeding conviction.

Watch on in delighted horror as some of our top legal minds representing our state’s top cop – they even have their own clerks; some of them anyway – give me a damn fine legal flensing. It probably won’t be pretty. Perhaps wear a raincoat over your nice clothes.

So what are my chances of showing that sometimes – albeit ever so rarely they tend to make movies about it – an annoying little cog can take on the ruthlessly efficient machinery of state and bring it to a shuddering halt?

Fuck all, I imagine. But the self-appointed bush lawyer in me reckons any Queensland motorist would be rightly appalled if they had been treated the way I have been in this interesting judicial journey. Gaslit/lied to by several Queensland state agencies (unless they were lied to, themselves) ; the roadblocks that were put in my way as I tried to build my case; the rabbit holes they tried to lure me down.

How deadlines for action always favoured the police commissioner’s people; my interests were never given equal weight in the interests of natural justice being applied. Or due process followed. All of this will be revealed in my online book I’ll run up once this journey reaches its likely bitter outcome, as an early cover design for that book might suggest.

Still, one can always hope and it might have something to do with my name but I’ve tilted at windmills all my life.

At the age of 75, it would be good to have just one successful tilt to be remembered by.

Don Gordon-Brown

Want to be alerted immediately a new blog hits Australia’s longest running and most offensive satire site? Simply click on the Follow sign to be emailed new yarns the moment they are uploaded! The very second we go far too far – and trust us we will – you can then quickly unfollow via the three dots!