CANBERRA: Urgent meetings are under way at Parliament House to devise a new standard line for Albanese Government figures to use when asked to comment on public statements made by dementia-riddled war criminal and would-be genocidal manic, US President Donald Trump.

An Albanese Government source told The Bug’s federal political bureau that Prime Minister Anthony Albanese himself had realised his current stand-by phrase (main picture) may not be applicable if the President lives up to his latest social media posts and destroys Iran when the two-week pause he announced this morning expires.

“We’ve been lucky because the ‘I’m not going to give a running commentary’ line has worked for a while now,” the source said.

“In fact Energy Minister Chris Bowen was trotting out a version of it last night when asked about Trump on the ABC’s 7.30 show.

“But if Trump eventually makes good on his promises it may not be applicable in the event that Iran ends up as a smoking, glowing wasteland that’s as flat as a pancake.

“It’s also hardly a phrase that inspires any surviving innocent civilians who were encouraged to rise up and take over their country from the hard-line religious fanatics who have been running it and thumbing their noses at democracy.

“Just to be clear,” the source added. “When I talk about hard-line religious fanatics who have been running it and thumbing their noses at democracy, I am referring to Iran.

“I wouldn’t want you to think I’m referring to the US, because as you know I’m not going to give a running comment… Damn!,” the source said.

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TEL AVIV: Israeli Prime Minister, Benjamin Netanyahu, has berated the nation’s military leaders for the civilian death toll so far in Israel’s invasion and occupation of southern parts of its current northern neighbour Lebanon.

“The killing of more than 1,500 civilians including more than 100 women and 130 children is not acceptable,” Mr Netanyahu (below) is reported to have told IDF commanders.

“You can and should do much better. I mean, even the Americans knocked out more than 100 kids in just one go when they struck that school in Iran.

“What’s the matter with all of you? I want to see Gaza-level death tolls ASAP. Now get to it.”

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BUDAPEST: US Vice-President JD Vance has accused both the European Union and Ukraine of interfering in Hungary’s current election campaign. (below)

At a rally for incumbent far-right Prime Minister Viktor Orban, Mr Vance sang Mr Orban’s campaign song before urging Hungarians to return the current government to office at the 12 April elections.

After the rally he went doorknocking in a Budapest suburb with Mr Orban before standing at a pre-poll voting booth for several hours where he handed out how-to-vote cards for the PM while telling those lined up to vote to punish both the UE and Ukraine for allegedly seeking to defeat Mr Orban for vetoing extra EU military support for Ukraine in its war against Russia.

In an unguarded moment, the Vice-President was also heard to tell Mr Orban that because Hungary was a democracy, the prime minister had the right to cancel the elections if he felt he would lose.

“It’s not too late to do that. In fact we’re looking at doing just that back in the States come November,” he was heard to say.

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