THE MIDDLE EAST:

Activists supporting the overthrow of the hard-line Islamic regime in Iran say they welcome US President Donald Trump’s controversial overnight social media post promising further war crimes in the nation.

Several leading activists contacted by The Bug buried under several tonnes of rubble in Tehran said at present it was difficult for them to plan too far ahead.

“I hear that President Trump has confirmed his plans to release hell and bomb my country back to the stone age to see oil shipments resume through the Fuckin Strait,” said one activist in Tehran who wished to remain anonymous.

“I haven’t heard of that strait before, but I’ll defer to President Trump as the expert, so I guess it’s probably near the Strait of Hormuz, oops…. I mean the Strait of Trump.

“I’ll just keep waiting to be rescued from under this very heavy concrete slab in what was once my home and then decide what to do now that President Trump has apparently achieved regime change.

“I’m so glad the old regime has been wiped away by President Trump’s efforts to totally destroy Iran. It will save activists like me from having to rise up and take over our country for ourselves.

“Besides, I reckon I’ll be fairly busy once I’m extracted from this pile of rubble, what with having to arrange all the funerals for my entire family killed in the US and Israeli air strikes that flattened our entire neighbourhood,” the activists said.

That upbeat attitude was also reflected in Lebanon where activists who remain buried under residential buildings destroyed by the Israeli Defence Force thanked the invading force’s leader, Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu.

“Speaking on behalf of the few members of my family who are still alive with me under this pile of shattered concrete, I can assure Mr Netanyahu that we will not forget his efforts to rid us of the terrorist group Hezbollah which Israel’s earlier invasion helped create in the first place,” said one unidentified man in south Beirut.

“We have an enormous debt to settle with Bibi and his government and the state of Israel itself, which I and future generations of my family will repay many times over in coming years I can assure him.”

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