ADELAIDE: A much-loved and long-term Labor Senator has stunned the party and her supporters with the shock news here that her current term in the Upper House will be her last and she’ll leave politics at the 2028 federal poll.

At a hastily-called media event at her South Australian parliamentary office late this morning, Pennymar Wongsberg gave an earlier hint of what was coming when, rather uncharacteristically, she began by breaking into song.

“Hava nagila, Hava nagila, Hava nagila, Venismecha,” the politician formerly known as Penny Wong warbled over and over again, her pitch growing louder and higher until she finished in a flourish with “Uru, Uru achim, Uru achim belev sameach, Uru achim belev sameach, Uru achim belev sameach, Uru achim, Uru achim, Belev sameach”. Several scribes clapped, which is not common or all that professional at such events.

Senator Wongsberg then became rather emotional and her wife and daughters Golda and Meir rushed forward to comfort her.

First elected in 2007, the South Australian Senator said her overnight name change reflected her absolute love for all things Israeli, which is why she and her family would be moving to Israel after her Australian political career ends.

“Oy vey! It’s always frustrated me that Israel has always been too far away to see things clearly as they are there,” Senator Wongsberg said. “It’s going to be an absolute pleasure to be on the ground there to see the wonders Benjamin Netanyahu and his cabinet are achieving in making Greater Israel such a powerful and peaceful force for good in the Middle East, for starters at least.

“My family and I are just keeping our fingers crossed that our luxury apartment in the Bibiland quarter of the Zion Park precinct – where Rafah used to be in New Southern Israel – with its wonderful Mediterranean views will be completed by then although we have kept an option on a penthouse in Trump Golden Towers conglomerate nearby just as a backup. It’s also seven-star!”

Members of the media who missed her opening performance got their cameras and microphones ready and begged Senator Wongsberg to “sing for us again, Neshamah Sheli!”

Although rather choked up, she began again with “Hava nagila, Hava nagila, Hava nagila, Venismecha” and some of the assembled media began tapping their feet. A number shouted “oy vey” over and over again while one stupid cunt called for Day-O.

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