Dear Doctor Dick

Over many years I have often read about people who have been injured or who have suffered some kind of medical episode being taken to hospital and placed in an induced coma. (main picture)

I have always been curious about how and why this is done. I know this is not a sex-related question but seeing you hold doctorates in at least 10 specialised medical fields I ask your expert advice because in recent years whenever I wake up in the morning and read or listen to the news I become very despondent.

This problem has definitely grown worse since the re-election of Donald Trump as US President.

In the past few weeks following his and Bibi Netanyahu’s blundering attack on Iran and the consequent spectre of a World War III and a global economic meltdown, I have contemplated how I might “sit out” this and no doubt other Trump-created disasters to come in the remaining years he will reside in the White House.

In short, would it be possible for me – someone who is not carrying any injuries and is in pretty good health – to be placed in an induced coma until just after noon (Washington DC time) on 20 January 2029 when Trump’s second and last term in office expires?

I think this is the only way I can survive the next few years. But I recognise that nothing is off the table these days.

So of course I will need a guarantee from whatever medico puts me into a coma that they will extend my deep sleep until 20 January 2033 if Trump manages to wheedle a third term in office despite the US Constitution prohibiting it.

Distressed
Darra Qld

Doctor Dick replies:

Dear Distressed of Darra

Coincidentally, in recent days I have been having discussions with some of my colleagues on this very matter. When I say “colleagues” I include not just those in the field of human medical treatment but also some associates in the veterinary field as well.

Our discussions focussed on the potential application of anaesthetics to non-medical conditions in a way and for reasons which are, shall I say, very closely aligned with those you have outlined.

As you would be aware, all medical practitioners are called upon to administer a local, regional, or general anaesthetic in the course of treating conditions needing some form of physical intervention or surgery. Vets are required to do so more often because of the need to subdue sometimes large and unruly animals before treatment can commence.

Vets are also called upon regularly to administer the so-called “green dream” – a reference to the colour of the anaesthetic medication needed not just to make animals unconscious but to end the lives of those beyond the help of treatment.

The consensus I and my colleagues reached was that rather than place individuals such as yourself in an induced coma for the reasons you articulate, you and indeed the entire world would be better served if somehow a special concoction of anaesthetic drugs could be administered to just one individual.

For the sake of discussion we labelled that substance the “orange dream” and are still trying to work out how it might be delivered. Any ideas would help.

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