Libs’ Farrer frontrunner emerges

While the National Party has chosen former soldier Brad Robertson (below) as its candidate in the Farrer by-election caused by the resignation of former opposition leader Sussan Ley, a senior Liberal Party official is promoting a 68-year-old woman as the “best possible” chance the party has to retain the seat.

Senior Liberal Party campaign strategist and publicity officer, Peta Credlin said: “I strongly believe that the Liberal Party should replace … err, whatshername … with another woman.”

Speaking on her daily TV broadcast to Liberal Party members, Ms Credlin said: “Tonya Bott, (main picture) is just the right person.. I mean, just the Right person we as a party need to lead the campaign – and possibly the party itself as soon as possible – to move it much, much further to the right instead of focussing on wishy-washy woke goals like devising policies that help it regain government at the federal level,” Ms Credlin said.

She said Ms Bott had experience in office, but did not divulge details, as well as a vast range of life experiences.

“He… I mean she, is an author, volunteer firefighter, former student boxer, as well as being a former seminary student who believes a woman’s virginity is a gift she should give only to her husband in marriage, and a committed monarchist.

“So she is just the type of person to attract the younger generation of voters to the Liberal Party in Farrer,” Ms Credlin said.

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ADELAIDE: South Australian Liberal Leader, Ashton Hurn, says she made a mistake by spending too long in the sun while outlining a raft of policy promises for the coming state election.

Speaking at an outdoor rally of party members on Sunday, Ms Hurn (below) began to show signs of physical deterioration as she listed Liberal Party commitments.

“Our policies include banning all immigration and repatriating immigrants already in Australia to their home countries, outlawing water fluoridation because let’s face it teeth are overrated, making vaccines voluntary, cutting red tape especially gun laws, making it a criminal offence to recite a welcome to country, and imposing a ban on humans marrying dogs or other domesticated species,” Ms Hurn said.

When asked if she were merely mimicking Pauline Hanson’s One Nation in a panic move to shore up the Liberal vote she responded: “Please explain.”

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Right-wing WA Liberal federal MP, Andrew Hastie, (below) says he has taken away some important lessons from his appearance at the Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC) held in Perth late last week.

In his address to the largely elderly audience at the conference, titled Reset the West, Mr Hastie hit a number of right-wing “hot button” issues including the Albanese Government’s immigration policy which he linked directly to the housing crisis.

Speaking after the event, Mr Hastie said he believed the CPAC concept was a good idea.

“I think the Liberal Party itself should follow this model and organise its own regular internal CPAC-style meetings,” he said.

“Although given our membership profile I think we might need to label them as CPAP conferences.”

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