MIDDLE EAST CRISIS:

WASHINGTON DC: US President Donald Trump has pulled back from launching an attack on another Middle Eastern nation after misunderstanding comments by members of the White House press pool on his flight from Mar-a-Lago to Washington.

At a hastily organised press room briefing, Mr Trump (main image) announced that he had rescinded an order he gave while on board Air Force One which was just minutes away from being put into effect by US forces.

Wearing his self-designed uniform as an eight-star general with gold bone-spur epaulettes, Mr Trump said overheard comments by reporters on board Air Force One had prompted him as commander-in-chief to give the go-ahead for opening a second front in the Middle East in addition to the bombings he had ordered to decapitate the hard-line Islamic leadership of Iran.

“I overheard a couple of you guys discussing another fanatical, hard-line, theocratic state led by a bloodthirsty megalomaniac willing to kill thousands of innocent people to ensure a corrupt and immoral regime can cling to power,” he explained.

“As a result I ordered my staff to find out more and to draw up plans to start bombing this rogue nation.

“Luckily one of my people discovered just in time that we were about to bomb Israel, so I called off this new operation just in time.”

Under questioning on the progress of the attacks on Iran, President Trump made a fleeting reference to US military personnel killed in the recent action, saying: “Let’s not focus on those suckers and losers when we should be talking about me and my continuing and deliberate exclusion from consideration for a Nobel Peace Prize.

“I have just explained how I stopped the planned US missile strikes on Tel Aviv that were ready to roll.

“That’s yet another war I’ve stopped and that alone deserves a Nobel prize, but of course I know they won’t give me one,” he said.

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