A HEARTFELT EDITORIAL:

Those of youse BUGgers out there who have been around for quite a while will know that this organ has been very, very, naughty, a very, very, large number of times since it first reared its ugly crustacean bellend in 1989.

We take no pride now in the fact that those behind The Bug 37 years ago were rather immature young men attracted to crude university-style humour, much of it scatological and, perhaps, even a minge – sorry, tinge – sexist.

But trust us! We’re entirely different people now. Our satire is far more matured and sophisticated to fit effortlessly into the 21stC me-too world.

Which leaves us with absolutely no understanding as to why we have appeared so, so, naughty, of recent months to the world’s richest-man ever and a close runner-up; Elon Musk who owns X along with some dodgy rockets and driverless cars that need work as side hustles, and the Zuckster as we affectionately call Mark Zuckerberg, owner of Facebook and other social mediocre platforms.

Let’s deal with the Muskateer first. He’s been banning us for breaching his community standards on X posts for as long as he’s had the former Twitter. But in recent months, feathers have really been flying and it’s been more or less daily that both The Bug’s X sites have been hit with this!

And then you know what we have to do in most cases? Simply hit start and our naughtiness is forgotten and we’re straight back into our sites. No need, after all then, to work out how we’ve offended the rules and how then to stop doing that. That would just be silly, right?

I mean, really, Elon/Noel/Leon as we sometimes label him has got to be very, very clever to become the Scrooge McDuck of the 21st Century. So if he thinks everything is forgiven once you press start, then who are we to question that amazing piece of logically applied and unsurpassed business acumen?

We should mention there’s a different approach every now and then. We have to prove we’re human by completing a task where we plop a cinema-goer in the right seat!

The moment we do that, we’re into our sites like Flynn, all breaches of their community standards fixed and now ticketty-bo!

Then there’s the Zuckster. Over recent months, we’ve copped this message on our two Facebook sites quite a few times.

The old terms of service and COMMUNITY STANDARDS again! Do you know how many fitful nights we at The Bug have stared at bedroom ceilings since 1989, just racking our brains over how to monetise this time-consuming monster?

And just as we have never worked out an answer to that, we are now tossing and turning all night about how much damage is being done to our hip pockets because Facebook is no longer recommending us to anybody!

Oh, and if you think hitting the view details button might resolve things, you haven’t been paying attention, have you? As with the genius that is Elon/Noel/Leon, the Zuckster is basically telling us the cash won’t start rolling in until we smarten ourselves up, correct the errors of our ways and start getting their recommendations again.

One time a few months back when we got this warning, without doing a fucking thing a Facebook message shortly after thanked us for being good Facebookers and always doing the right thing.

Other times – well, once because they promised no answer and they kept that promise – without having a fucking clue what we’re doing wrong, we have filled in the appeal field, explaining we are Australia’s longest running satire site and, yes, we make a lot of shit up if that’s the Zuckster’s beef.

Never get a reply of course but we accept two of the world’s richest-ever-men with business skills probably only surpassed by Donald Trump are too busy turning billions into zillions to give us a fucking clue on what changes we should make to please their good mate Al Gorithym.

And to both money-mad men: yes, we do think Donald Trump is an absolute cunt and we do take the mickey out of him as often as we can, so if that’s the problem, we’re loathe to fix it.

Don Gordon-Brown
Co-editor

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