CANBERRA: Barnaby Joyce is the new federal Opposition Leader after this morning’s Liberal caucus spill meeting, emerging triumphant using unparalleled tactics that have left the nation’s best media politics observers and analysts, and the ABC’s national lead David Speers as well, shaking their heads in disbelief.

The Bug can reveal that the Liberal Party’s national executive in a brilliant strategical move rubber-stamped Joyce’s membership of the Liberal Party late last night after convincing the Member for New England to resign from Pauline Hanson’s One Nation party earlier in the day.

There were audible gasps in the Liberal parliamentary caucus meeting room as the party’s whip was about to order the doors closed when Joyce crawled into the room from a nearby early opener.

The Bug can also reveal that House members and Senators who were in the know shouted “Australia’s finest retail politician ever!” over and over as Joyce, red-faced by all the adulation, was helped to a seat that he immediately slipped off.

Indeed, ousted Opposition Leader Sussan Ley knew it was all over when Angus Taylor freely admitted his role as a stalking/trojan horse in the leadership battle, announced he would not be standing and nominated instead “my very good friend Barnaby as the only person capable of leading this once-great party out of the wilderness!”

Several Liberal politicians have told The Bug on condition of anonymity that the national executive’s intervention was “a no brainer” after it had watched One Nation soar past the LNP in opinion polls once Joyce joined the Pauline Hanson party.

It is understood that after winning the vote by 40 over Ley’s three and one for the empty chair, Joyce rambled on in his own inimitable style, being constantly drowned out by cheers of “Australia’s greatest ever retail politician” and “We love you, Barnaby. You’re our saviour!” and “For he’s a jolly good fellow” sung on rotation.

Joyce finished up, raising a laugh around the room by shouting: “I’m as dry as a dead dingo’s donger. Anyone up for a celebratory drink?”

The Bug understands Joyce will now recontest his regional NSW seat as a Liberal at the 2028 federal poll and has promised to immediately hit the ground running in his quest to be Australia’s 32nd prime minister.

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