LONDON: UK Prime Minister, Sir Keir Starmer, has taken further steps to quell internal Labour Party outrage at his appointment of now disgraced former British ambassador to the US, Peter Mandelson.

In parliament this week, Sir Keir made a strongly worded statement condemning Mandelson and his connection with the late child sex offender Jeffrey Epstein as revealed in the “Epstein files” released by the FBI in Washington.

The statement was viewed as a means for Sir Keir to stave off a leadership challenge for his lack of judgement in appointing Mandelson to Washington in February 2025 and the PM’s mishandling of a range of other political problems.

But in the wake of new revelations suggesting Mandelson passed sensitive government information to Epstein while a minister in Gordon Brown’s government, Sir Keir told reporters at a Downing Street news conference that it was appropriate he make further comment.

“I wish to add that I have always regarded Peter Mandelson as an unflushable turd in the bowl of Labour Party history,” he said.

“His central role in scandals that forced his resignation as a cabinet minister on two previous occasions shows what an odious, oleaginous reptile he is and has always been.

“How anyone with any intelligence, any shred of decency, or even the slightest regard for even minimum standards of behaviour in public life could have ever considered Mandelson as appropriate for any position in government is beyond comprehension.

“Whoever thought that the well-known serial liar Mandelson would ever change his behaviour is unfit to ….,” Sir Keir said before stopping suddenly.

“Oh, hang on,” he said while quickly scanning the remainder of his speaking notes.

“That’s all I have to say right now,” he said before running from the room.

***

WASHINGTON, DC: In a surprise move overnight, the Democratic Party minority leader in the Senate, Chuck Schumer, has made a counter-offer to Donald Trump’s bid to have more national landmarks renamed for the president.

Mr Trump has reportedly told Senator Schumer that he would approve federal funds for a rail tunnel project connecting New York and New Jersey on the condition that two major travel facilities – Washington Dulles International Airport and Pennsylvania Station in New York City – were renamed in his honour.

Senator Schumer initially rejected outright the deal, but this morning made a counter-offer.

“I will agree to those two name changes provided he agrees that we also formally rename the title ‘President of the United States of America’ to ‘White House staffer’,” Senator Schumer said.

***

CANBERRA: The Royal Australian Mint has apologised for “confusion and distress” caused by the release of two new commemorative coins.

“We have just released new $5 and 50-cent coins designed, or so we thought, to honour the late Queen Elizabeth II,” a Mint spokesperson said. (below)

“But unfortunately the new commemorative currency has prompted confusion and distress in some quarters.

“We would like to take this opportunity to apologise to the former Japanese prime minister, Junichiro Koizumi (below) whom we understand has said he is honoured to be recognised on Australian currency.

“We have also reached out to the family of the late UK actor, Patricia Routledge – best known for playing busybody housewife Hyacinth Bucket. (below)

“They have been flooded with congratulatory messages and for that we apologise,” the spokesperson said.

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