U.S. NEWS:

DIAPERFILLA, PA: The small Pennsylvania town of Diaperfilla has once again held its own Groundhog Day event – as tradition dictates, 48 hours after its nearby neighbour of Punxsutawney.

While many people wrongly believe Groundhog Day is a fictitious festivity made famous by the eponymous 1993 film starring Bill Murray based on a French original, Punxsutawney has been using a groundhog to make weather predictions since 1887.

On 2 February groundhog Punxsutawney Phil emerged from his burrow in front of a large crowd gathered in near-freezing conditions at Gobbler’s Knob in the town centre and purportedly whispered to his handler that he had seen his shadow, which means six more weeks of winter.

But while Punxsutawney Phil makes weather predictions, a few kilometres away in Diaperfilla another groundhog foretells the American political climate.

This morning Diaperfilla Don (main picture) told his handlers that he had both seen his own shadow as well as not seeing it.

“The first words he said to me were about how much better a groundhog he is than Phil, or sleepy Phil as he called him, and how his shadow is far better than Phil’s,” the handler who wished to remain anonymous said.

“He then began a rant for almost two hours which was really just a string of offensive, loopy, borderline racist remarks that he sort of spat out – something about the November elections being cancelled and the 2028 ones too and people eating their dogs and cats.

“He was actually quite demented and was regularly soiling himself throughout his diatribe which was just random thoughts barely weaved together.

“I could hardly keep a hold of him, especially when he heard the Village People’s song YMCA on the portable radio of someone in the crowd. He began wriggling awkwardly, so much so that I could barely contain him.

“Someone in the crowd yelled ‘put him down’ and for a moment – and I’m not proud of this – I did contemplate asking if anyone nearby had a gun,” the handler said.

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