If you BUGgers out there didn’t know already, the heading at the top of this post shows that your Xcrement-of-the-Week judges and compilers are effluent in Latin.

And if you are too, you’ll have already cottoned on to the fact that we’re devoting this entire column to that amazing documentary, Melania, that covers the three weeks of Melania Trump’s life before hubby’s second inauguration in early 2025.

And we thought we’d start with a little competition. At top and below, Xers Michelle de los Santos FELLA and Meiguo icons Stand with Ukraine icons share other people’s ideas for the most suitable movie poster for the fillum.

Our competition is simple. If you like Michelle’s extended poster with all its cruel words, hit your tab key three times now. If the other offering that incorporates the female image as the M in Melania, hit the shift key also three times and we’ll show you the results later today.

But that non-prostrate image of someone who clearly doesn’t have a prostate forces us to make an admission before we carry on. A lot of xcrement that flowed the movie’s – and the real Melania’s – way into our putrid prizebarrel suggested the dear thing has been a pro much of her life, someone who in fact invented the mattress method of acting and has always put her back into everyone she’s ever done! We know nothing of those defamatory ideas and completely divorce ourselves from them!

Some of the best memes we lassoed were based on jokes along the lines that the Epstein files were released as a diversion to cover the doco’s dud debut and Harvey Wallbanger went down that path.

Other memes centred on airlines banning the document for fear passengers would try to walk out. Bermadette Doyle took the opposite flight path.

Those who rejoiced, rather unkindly we feel because after all, Melania was just a girl, standing before a boy and asking him to lavish her, over the overall disaster of a movie it turned out to be were Just saying, PaulleyTicks, Intare Batinya, Paul Rudnick, Peter Murphy, Liam Nissan and MM.

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