It is so, so, fitting that on this special day, our much-loved Xcrements-of-the-Week column is entirely devoted to that grate un-Australian, our very own Deputy Prime Minister Richard Marles!

And a record number of Xctretas have opened their bum bay doors this past week and covered Marles in tonnes of virtual shit he so richly deserves.

Our judges selected the xcretal offering (top and below) from some chap named Tony Windsor to set the scene as to why so much online faecal flak headed Marles’s way as he clearly firms up a post-politics AUKUS job in the US.

And the X post that Windsor, apparently a farmer/grazier somewhere in regional NSW, felt such contrition over?

And another virtual anal attack from this apologetic guttermouth!

So what’s this chap on about? We’ll let two of our regular Xcreatas clear out their virtual cloacas to explain why we had to empty our putrid Xcrements-of-the-Week barrel three times last week. Take it away, Everald Compton and Ronni Salt NowOnBlueSky.

As you see from the bottom of Ronni’s post, a Richard Marles post declaring that, today, he wanted to be very clear about something got Marles covered very quickly in shit. Our Xers were far from impressed with Marles’s simplistic, totally off-target rant about our wonderful defence force personel … well, let’s give Ronni a second blast to explain all the anger his X post created.

Oh, Ronni, you do have a way with words! A Hallmark Card tribute! When almost all of Australia would have wanted – and expected – our Defence Minister to give Trump both barrels over his disgusting Davos criticism of our troops in Afghanistan, claiming they deliberately ignoring the front lines where much braver US forces fought and died!

Also telling Marles where he should have sent his clarifying message to, if he wasn’t prepared to shove it up his arse (we’re paraphrasing a bit here) were Margarine and ShazH.

Also dumping away from a great height were Peter Murphy, Daniel Paxton, Patrick, Interested Bystander, Maryann Sara, ScottyfortheNACC, Sir Autumn Mandrake and Max Le
Blond FROM THE RIVER TO T….

(at least you now know where we got the line used up top to ponder Marles’s job ambitions)

It’s probably a blessing that Marles will have been unable to read all of the above – and countless others – what with him being completely coverage in the virtual shit he so richly deserves.

(And a quick memo to Tony Windsor: if you want to use cunt in any future xcretal offering about Trump, you will be totally forgiven! Trust us!)

TO BE CONTINUED: If you think this column’s favourite xcretas let Antony Albanese off the hook over his almost equally vapid response on Insiders to Captain Bone Spur’s disgusting slight on Anzacs and the military from many other nations, wait until tomorrow!

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