Trump’s sensational new claims

WASHINGTON, DC: In a bid to divert attention from the ICE agent who shot and killed Nicole Good in Minneapolis, President Donald Trump has injected sensational new claims into the ongoing public debate over the incident.

Presenting what he described as “new, relevant, and indisputable facts” about the shooting, Mr Trump said he had ordered the FBI to track down a mystery woman photographed with Ms Good prior to the shooting. (main picture)

“This individual is no doubt another domestic terrorist like Ms Good, or Ms Bad as I prefer to call her,” he said.

“I believe this person is responsible for Ms Very Bad’s death and the new photographic evidence I release today clearly shows her fleeing the scene of the shooting while ICE agent, Jonathon E Ross – by the way that’s E for extremely brave and heroic – rushes towards the vehicle in a futile bid to save Ms Very Very Extremely Bad’s life. (below)

“I have presented US Attorney-General, Pam Blondie [sic], with this new evidence and she is directing the FBI to track down this callous individual.”

Mr Trump said he had also directed the Attorney-General to order the FBI to include in its  investigations an area of elevated open space near the scene of the shooting.

“This, I guess you would call it a grassy knoll, should certainly be an area of interest since a second shooter – most likely an illegal immigrant named Kamala or Obama or something foreign like that – could easily have perched there.

“In fact, I am 100% certain that the FBI will find exactly that,” he said.

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