Liberals plan leadership change

CANBERRA: A declaration by Melbourne-based federal Liberal MP, Tim Wilson, has prompted the party to trial a new process for selecting a leader to contest the 2028 election.

An anonymous party source said Mr Wilson was merely the latest MP to declare their intention to become party leader. (below)

“Just eight months after Ssussan Ley’ss election as Opposition Leader we now have a conga line of people being identified or self-identifying as a future Liberal leader,” the source said. (main picture)

“Right now Tim’s already up against people like Angus Taylor, Andrew Hastie, and even Senator Jacinta Nampijinpa Price.

“There are also other sitting MPs or would-be MPs who reckon they should be leader, and even ex-MPs like Josh Frydenberg and ex-PM Tony Abbott are being mentioned.

“So it’s becoming a very, very crowded field which means we need to sort out the problem before we start to look like a  rudderless rabble. Or more of a rudderless rabble, to be precise.”

The Liberal Party source said Tim Wilson’s comments about the party being accepting of an openly gay leader were clearly a move by him to prevent his name being lost in what was now a crowded field of people staking their claims to the leadership.

“Of course in Tim’s case, being gay, he needs to lay the groundwork for any leadership campaign by having an open, sensible, and tolerant discussion within the party about his sexuality before he is ultimately and comprehensively and humiliatingly rejected by the far-right religious bigoted troglodytes who now run the whole show,” the source said.

The source said the Liberal Party’s federal secretariat had devised a plan to resolve the confusion over the leadership.

“They’ve worked out that we have 28 Liberal MPs in the federal parliament and there are now 28 months before the 2028 election,” the source explained.

“So each of our current MPs will be given a month to serve as leader and the one who does the best job will take us to the election.

“It’s quite a neat solution. But, of course there’s a fallback position. If all 28 prove to be duds then we’ll draft Josh [Frydenberg] or bring back Tony [Abbott] or even go for broke and shoehorn in a high-profile glamour candidate who knows how to run a government – like Peta Credlin – and just hope they can win a seat in 2028.

“I mean, what on earth could possibly go wrong with this plan?” the source said.

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