WASHINGTON, DC: US President Donald Trump has told Americans that today is the last time Christmas will be celebrated on 25 December.

In a three-hour address to the nation from the building formerly known as the White House (main picture) the President said as a result of a series of new executive orders he had signed, from 2026 the nation would celebrate Christmas on his birthday, 14 June.

“I have an important announcement to make to all Americans,” Mr Trump began. “So important that I am addressing you all live from the Trump House here in Washington DT.

“Incidentally, it’s now Washington DT, not DC, and I know you’ll all know what that stands for,” he said.

Before making his major announcement Mr Trump, who will be 80 next year, rejected suggestions that he was suffering cognitive decline and was unfit to be President.

“I gotta tell you I took a test. You know the one with the elephant and the clock, and I aced it. Aced it! Joe Biden couldn’t do that,” he said.

He then spent 30 minutes riffing on former President Biden’s alleged faults before initially appearing to offer conciliatory remarks.

“In the Christmas spirit,” he said, “I’d like to offer sleepy sex-pest senile Joe Biden my own personal festive wish. I wish he would die soon just like [recently murdered actor, director, and producer] Carl Reiner and others who don’t like me.

“Old Joe doesn’t know what day it is. I gotta tell you I took a test. You know the one with the elephant and the clock, and I aced it. Aced it! Joe Biden couldn’t do that,” Mr Trump said.

He then moved on to explain the shift in Christmas Day.

“It’s important that we as a nation don’t celebrate suckers and losers like this guy Jesus who died on the cross. Pleeeez! Gimmmeee a break.

“We need to celebrate real heroes like me which is why from now on we’ll mark Christmas on my birthday, not his.

“I’m also changing Boxing Day. It will now be on 15 June and it’ll be called WrestleMania Day.

“I mean, boxing? Who likes boxing? Only the blacks mainly. They like boxing, and they love me too, but I’m sorry, boxing has to go.”

Mr Trump then fell asleep for almost 90 minutes, with his press secretary Karoline Leavitt casting the incident as “the President leading the nation in a deep and moving silent prayer”.

On waking, President Trump said: “I gotta tell you I took a test. You know the one with the elephant and the clock, and I aced it. Aced it! Joe Biden couldn’t do that.”

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