The column that has fun with the smaller mistakes and missteps of Australia’s mainstream mediocre; that pays homage to those sweet little fishes that individually don’t amount to a full meal but collectively can cause a tummy upset over the overall state of the once great and noble craft of journalism in this country.
Well, it is summer after all so why shouldn’t cricket feature in this edition of Mediocre Bytes?
You older BUGgers out there will know what one of our column compilers meant when he said last night while watching a women’s big-bash game on Seven. “Murray Walker would be proud!”
He was, of course, referring to the late English Formula One commentator whose on-air verbal gaffes could make a copy of War and Peace look like a double-sided A5 flyer.
And what caused Walker’s memory to be revived?
This offering from the TV commentator after a batswoman belted a ball high on to the legside (top left) only to be caught (top right) by a fielder lucky enough not to fall asleep as she waited for the ball to drop from the heavens above: “It’s always hard to keep it on the ground when it goes so high.”
Murray Walker would have been proud.
***
Hairs to Sir Geoffrey’s despair!
Then there was the cricket scribe Tyson Otto who opined on Newscorpe online that Sir Geoffrey Boycott has been tearing his hair out over the English Ashes side’s warm-up match – and overall preparation – ahead of the Test series Down Under.
The photo below of Boycott taken a few years ago doesn’t prove a hair-tearing-out tantrum would have been impossible but maybe Mediocre Bytes can humbly suggest that it would have been very bloody unlikely unless the great English opener used tweezers? And given what his head must look like now – hint, he wears hats a lot! – it would have been a very silly thing to even try to make a point!
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Want to be alerted immediately a new blog hits Australia’s longest running and most offensive satire site? Simply click on the Follow sign or the link below to be emailed new yarns the moment they are uploaded! The very second we go far too far – and trust us we will – you can then quickly unfollow via the three dots!
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