CANBERRA: Barnaby Joyce has been officially welcomed to Pauline Hanson’s One Nation Party at a special induction ceremony performed by Senator Hanson herself.

After taking a special oath administered to all new One Nation MPs by Ms Hanson, Mr Joyce surrendered his official Liberal-National coalition racist dog whistle and was given a bespoke One Nation racist megaphone.

In taking his oath he committed to use the megaphone to spew bile, misinformation, and disinformation about any non-white people in or intending to a come to Australia including “the special treatment and massive payments and free houses and taxis provided to all Aboriginal people for sitting on their lazy black arses and doing nothing but drink heavily and pass out in public”.

Reporters covering the event at Parliament House noted Mr Joyce verbally stumbled slightly over the last part of that declaration.

His One Nation oath also required him to promote fear and loathing about the introduction of Sharia law into Australia even though no such move is afoot by any legislator or legislative body anywhere in the nation.

It also required him to declare that climate change is not and never has been real and that spending billions or perhaps trillions of dollars on new coal-fired generators and nuclear power plants is cheaper than sourcing electricity from free natural elements such as the sun, wind, or tides.

Senator Hanson then assisted Mr Joyce to don a personally tailored official-issue One Nation burqa (main picture) before he took a further pledge to wear it whenever and wherever possible to underline the party’s hard-core hatred and bullying of anyone associated with the Islamic faith wherever they live.

Mr Joyce’s final oath was to commit himself to vigorously promote the interests and arguments of neo-Nazis, anti-vaccination agitators, sovereign citizens, and toothless advocates fighting the fluoridation of water supplies.

At the end of the ceremony Mr Joyce made himself available for questioning but began by explaining that he had been thinking about leaving the Nationals for some time because of a fundamental disagreement with his former party’s current leader David Littleproud.

“My biggest beef with David Littleproud as leader of the National Party is just that – he’s leader not me,” he explained.

Mr Joyce was then asked if he had been thinking about joining One Nation prior to renominating as a National Party MP at the federal election just seven months ago and accepting National Party funds and resources plus relying on the efforts of its local volunteer branch members to aid his re-election.

In reply Mr Joyce pointed to something behind the assembled media pack and yelled: “Look out, it’s Sharia law!”

Reporters and cameras all swung around to look behind them but saw nothing out of the ordinary and when they returned to resume questioning Mr Joyce had gone.

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