Given The Bug’s limited resources, we have rarely travelled further than Nine News Queensland and Nine News Sydney for the many examples over the years of newsreaders being forced to read out really stupid or misleading or politically skewered things.

But courtesy of a Facebook post from not-so-old work colleague and former top electronic media scribe Dean Felton, we can now add Nine News Melbourne’s Peter Hitchener to our list!

Here’s his introduction to 9 Melbourne’s 6pm bulletin on November 23: “Billionaire James Packer unleashes on former Premier Daniel Andrews in a rare interview!”

Exciting, right? Our washed-up, bitter old hacks who compile this column were on the edge of their seats as they watched the bulletin on 9now to see what aggrieved Dean so much.

Here’s Hitchener again a bit later on introducing the report by Mark Burrows: “James
Packer has unleashed on Daniel Andrews, labelling the former Premier as his least favourite person in the world, saying he not only ruined Victoria, he almost ruined my life!”

Our compilers shuffled even further to the edge of their seats, popcorn and Bundy and cokes in hands. Most of what followed from Burrows’ report was an interview with Packer by Joe Aston, the first topic of discussion being the billionaire’s battle with the bottle.

A lead-in tease just before the savage assault on Andrews, surely? No. Packer next attributes Israel’s Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu for bring him back from the brink. Top chap really despite recent bad press as he prepares Gaza for shovel-ready rebuilding projects!

Andrews now, surely! Nope. Packer then talks about US President Donald Trump being really nice to him. Aww!

Now for the pile-on at Andrews! Not yet. Packer’s going to be back in Sydney next month to visit his mum with some trepidation that he might encounter someone in the street he’s fallen out with!

The Andrews attack? Never mentioned. Not newsworthy as it turned out. But our guess is that this supposed hot news flagged and flogged twice by Hitchener made it into promos for the bulletin during Tipping Point.

We’ll let Dean’s Facebook post summarise what we are all feeling.

Nine News in Melbourne just ran a story on Joe Aston‘s exclusive interview with James Packer, mentioning in the intro that Packer had tipped an enormous bucket on former Victorian Premier Daniel Andrews, apparently claiming he’d ruined Victoria and almost Packer’s life as well. This sounded interesting to Victorians. Up came the actual story. We heard how Benjamin Netanyahu had helped James beat an alcohol addiction, and how James was acquainted with Donald Trump. Not a single mention of Daniel Andrews. How does this even happen? Was it clickbait? Because traditionally there’s at least something to click through to.

A very valid point, Dean. The clickbait you have when there’s nothing to clickbait to. Nine News
Melbourne might had broken new ground here.

***

We are so fucking proud!

Not just for ourselves as self-confessed journalism educators but for the FORMER clown subs at The Sydney Morning Herald.

We think it’s the third Thursday edition in a row where the Wednesday night shift got it perfectly right with two stories that flowed over from PAGE 3. We can’t be totally sure since we’ve been largely pissed since it first appeared those three weeks ago that our pleas for the SMH to show some professionalism had finally been heeded but here’s what had us rushing back to the grog fridge this morning.

We know, BUGgers, we know! Can we now move on from a campaign we’ve run for many, many, months now? We don’t want to laud subs too much for getting the basics of their craft finally right but, heck, GOOD ON THEM! FINAFUCKINGLY!

Let’s hope that the overall explainer below is the last time we need to pop the bubbly? Well, for that reason, anyway.

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