WASHINGTON, DC: President Donald Trump says he will not apologise for contradicting America’s own intelligence agencies by personally and publicly exonerating Saudi Arabia’s Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman of any involvement in the murder of US resident and Washington Post journalist, Jamal Khashoggi.

In an Oval office meeting with the visiting Prince, President Trump referenced the 2018 killing of Khashoggi, a longstanding critic of the Saudi Arabia’s authoritarian regime and Prince Mohammed.

The President declared that the Crown Prince “knew nothing about it”, contradicting intelligence reports released under the Biden administration in 2021 which found the Prince had approved plans to either “capture or kill” Khashoggi who was murdered and had his body dismembered at the Saudi consulate in Istanbul.

When quizzed on why his assessment of the Prince’s culpability differed from that of the CIA and other US agencies, Mr Trump said he had a simple answer.

“The CIA is not a stable genius like I am,” he said. “I make no apologies for my brilliant talent – perhaps the best that any leader anywhere in the world has ever possessed – for assessing other world leaders.”

The President then moved on to announce an arms trade deal under which Saudi Arabia would be able to buy Lockheed Martin F-35 fighter jets costing US$82.5 million each.

In return, a somewhat apologetic Prince Mohammed handed over two arms from a person or persons unknown. (main picture)

“I’m sorry, but when I was told this meeting was all about an arms trade I just naturally thought, well… you know,” he attempted to explain.

When reporters asked whose arms he was offering the President, the Crown Prince claimed he did not know but then performed an ostentatious fake cough which sounded a lot like “Khashoggi”.

At that point President Trump declared the news conference to be over before turning to huddle with the Prince.

“What? No 747? I usually get a 747 from you people,” he was overheard saying as reporters were hounded from the room – literally – by presidential press secretary Karoline Leavitt who barely restrained six snapping and snarling American pit bull terriers on long leashes.

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