WASHINGTON, DC: The White House is actively attempting to divert attention from any potentially incriminating information in the Epstein files about President Donald Trump.

Presidential press secretary, Karoline Leavitt, (below) summoned White House press pool reporters and several netherworld spirits to the West Wing briefing room to release what she said was an image retrieved from the Epstein files of former Democratic Party President Bill Clinton. (main picture)

After taking to the lectern in a swirling cloud of sulphurous gasses, Ms Leavitt said: “This picture taken at Mr Epstein’s house is verified evidence that proves beyond a doubt that President Clinton and the entire Democratic Party are guilty of horrendous criminal sexual exploitation of underage girls.

“As a result, we will be arresting Mr Clinton today and applying the death penalty without wasting time and taxpayers’ money on a trial,” she.

“To save further time and money we will also be arresting pizza shop child trafficker Hillary Clinton and putting her to death too, probably in a public square here in Washington,” she said to a standing ovation from MAGA-aligned reporters in the room, Fox News representatives, and correspondents from News Crap Australia.

Ms Leavitt grew agitated when all remaining mainstream reporters in the briefing room pointed out that the picture was nothing but a crudely doctored publicity still of the famous dance sequence from the 1935 Hollywood film The Little Colonel starring African American actor Bill Robinson and child star Shirley Temple.

As her head twisted almost 360 degrees on her shoulders Ms Leavitt literally emitted flames from her mouth, badly burning reporters in the front row of the briefing room seats, and declared: “President Trump is innocent of anything he is accused of or has ever been accused of, ever.

“We have nothing to hide. This is the most open and transparent White House, ever.”

She then gave a hand signal which prompted masked ICE agents to enter the briefing room and begin wrestling mainstream media representatives to the ground, zip-tying their hands behind their backs, and frog-marching them to vans waiting in the White House driveway.

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