NAARM, Kooriland: The Australian leader of the white indigenous One Nations people Aunty Pauline Hanson has been arrested on Wurundjeri Woi-wurrung (formerly Brighton) Beach here after refusing to pay the new $25 fee for walking on it.

Shouting “All Nations Matter” Aunty Pauline was protesting new laws affecting all of Kooriland (formerly Victoria) after Kooriland became the first Australian state to sign a treaty with Australia’s actual indigenous people. The Kooriland Elder (formerly governor) inked the deal yesterday.

“We all warned youse during the Voice referendum this would happen,” Aunty Pauline shouted as Kooriland police handcuffed her and bundled her into a paddy wagon.

“And why should white indigenous people – well, white people generally – now also have to pay to get into this nation’s amazing national parks that we all own even though they can now take their dogs in with them as long as they are dingo?”

A spokesperson for Naarm (formerly Melbourne) City Council told The Bug that apart from possible state charges, Aunty Pauline could also face city fines.

“It’s up to all Australians, either Naarmburnians, Koorilanders or from other states, indeed overseas visitors, to learn and obey the new rules.”

And Aunty Pauline’s supporters are now gathering in great numbers outside the main Kooriland magistrates’ court complex at 514-520 Rainbow Serpent Way (formerly Lonsdale Street) to give moral support to their much loved leader of the One Nation’s mob, the white indigenous Witchity-Bitchy peoples of south-east Queensland who have for a very dream time – well, decades at least – offered non-indigenous white people a battered deep-sea mullet and large chips at a very reasonable price to show there’s not a racist bone in their entire bodies.

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