Lib powerbroker backs quotas

CANBERRA: A former senior federal Liberal Party MP has denied current agitation against Ssussan Ley’ss leadership signals a hostile environment for women within the party.

“That’s total balls, love. I wouldn’t worry your pretty little head about any nonsense like anti-sheila sentiment within the Liberal Party,” the former MP and influential powerbroker (main picture) who sought anonymity told one of The Bug‘s senior female federal political reporters.

“If there was any such hostility, would someone like me be supporting a gender quota for the party, especially for the party leadership?

“Sure we probably should aim for having 50% girls in our ranks including 50% of our party leaders. After all, they brighten the place up, don’t they? – especially those who wear pretty frocks and not too much make-up.

“But we can’t rush into these things. We need to build up to that target and we’re already well on the way to doing that with Ssussan.

“The Liberal Party was established more than 80 years ago and has had 15 leaders by my count, some of them doubling up. Bastards!

“So Ssussan – as the first to take on what is naturally a man’s job – represents about 6% of all the leaders we’ve had which is a pretty good start on the way to 50%.

“So we can tick off that achievement and Ssussan can look back on her leadership with pride as she heads back to the backbench.

“If she doesn’t see the logical in that – and that’s always a risk with women, as you’d know – then I think someone like me might need to shirtfront Ssussan to let her know it’s time to move on and make way. You bet you are, you bet I am,” he said.

The former MP said Mss Ley would leave a valuable legacy behind once she left leadership.

“She has tried her best, the dear thing, to get the party to resolve its policy on non-existent climate change,” he said.

“And as one of the housewives of Australia, she’d understand as she does the ironing that if she  gets it done commercially it’s going to go up in price and her own power bills, when she switches the iron on, are going to go up.”

The anonymous Liberal said by departing the Opposition Leader’s job Mss Ley could show the world the level of respect the party had “for the fairer sex”.

“After all, giving up the leadership, like giving up her virginity is the greatest gift a woman can give someone – the ultimate gift of giving,” he said.

The anonymous Liberal was speaking to The Bug just as news broke of Victorian Senator Sarah Henderson’s failure this morning to endorse Mss Ley’ss leadership.

“Oh! Meeeeow! Catfight!” said the former MP making feline squealing noises when told of Senator Henderson’s remarks.

He then told our reporter he had a question for her before giving a sly little wink to our photographer and asking: “Get us a cuppa, would you love?”

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