Some of this nation’s biggest mainstream mediocre arse-lickers have fallen short with a bright new star flashing past them just before the post to claim October 2025 Arse-Licker glory.
BUGgers will remember an appeal issue by our our ALOTM judges several weeks ago for late October entries even if two seasoned ring-licking, coit-cleaning, specialists appeared to have the title sewn up between them. (link below).
The appeal worked with an excellent entry from some sheila named Esther Krakue using a Sky LNPNews stink-piece to hope the very worst outcome for our PM Anthony Albanese in a face-to-face meeting with Donald Trump.
Yes, we know! We had no fucking idea who this Esther Krakue was either. Definitely not one of the Sky LNPNews hosts and LNP publicists who also playact as real journalists.
So we took a peek at her website to discover Esther thinks she’s pretty damn hot. And as a journalist as well. We are yet to verify if she has indeed Rupert and Lachlan tattooed on her ample decolletage.
Her online site explains she’s a British broadcaster, columnist and communications consultant based in London who provides regular political commentary across the broadcast media where “she shares insightful perspectives, promotes open dialogue, and delves into the complexities of our world”.
“Her writing can be found in The Telegraph, The DailyMail, The Daily Express, and The Sun; where she is committed to delivering thought-provoking content, providing well-reasoned perspectives and contributing to the public discourse.”
Well, apart from her beauty, she certainly has brains as well, for she clearly knows that when you pen something for the Murdoch’s Down Under organs, you’ve got to do the clearly unAustralian thing and always hope the worst for those rare occasions when Australian voters foolishly elect a Labor government against the clearly expressed wishes of that viagra-overdosed, ethically corrupt, criminally inclined, money-hungry, flacid-arsed, Yank nonagenarian and his even more right-wing son. Pander, as you must, to the Murdochs’ almost patholical hatred of Labor governments because they may not always do the right thing by their financial interests and fuck what Australians needor want.
And it’s true, isn’t it? Read her Sky LNPNews piece from the other side of the world, and you can almost hear a wee tinkle of excitement as she hopes a diplomatic disaster awaited Albanese as he jetted across the Pacific.
So it’s clearly early days yet and while Paul Murray’s belief that the LNP needs Tony Abbott to return and Andrew Clennell doing that very anti-Australia Murdoch thing by dumping on Kevin Rudd are probably better, more seasoned, examples of why the Murdochs won’t be needing dunny paper for a while, we think Esther Krakue is showing very early promise of being one of the greatest ever Murdoch ring-masters.
She is already rimming with confidence and displaying natural cloacal cleaning capabilities. She might one day be tickling tonsils from the rear end… and that takes enormous skill and years of practice.
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