King keen on Royal Lodge deal

LONDON: King Charles III is considering a plan to solve the dilemma he faces over the continued rent-free occupation of the Royal Lodge near Windsor Castle by his scandal-plagued brother Prince Andrew.

A Buckingham Palace spokesperson said Prince Andrew himself had provided the possible solution to the King by identifying a previously unknown member of the British aristocracy prepared to move into the historic 30-room royal residence.

“The King is considering an offer received from Lady Ann Drew (main picture) under which she and her adult son Fergus (below) would move in immediately.

“The King is looking favourably on the deal because it would involve Lady Ann paying twice the rent Prince Andrew is currently obliged to pay.

“As you know His Majesty is quite canny when it comes to matters of finance so he sees great value in receiving two peppercorns a year under the proposed deal,” the spokesperson said.

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CANBERRA: Queensland Senator Matt Canavan says he expects to finalise his internal National Party review of its net-zero emissions target “very soon”.

Speaking during a television interview on ABC TV’s Insiders this morning (below) Senator Canavan said his post-election review had been informed in part by submissions from former party leader and net-zero critic Barnaby Joyce.

“I’ve relied a lot on Barnaby’s input into my review even to the extent of how to present my final findings and recommendations,” Senator Canavan said.

“I can tell you that I’ll be texting my full report to the Nationals’ current leader David Littleproud very soon.”

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WASHINGTON, DC: Presidential press secretary Karoline Leavitt has provided a “comprehensive response” to claims that President Donald Trump has displayed classic signs of dementia in his most recent comments on Australia’s ambassador to the US, Kevin Rudd.

Asked yesterday by a reporter about remarks he made about Mr Rudd a few days before in a White House meeting with Prime Minister Anthony Albanese, Mr Trump said: “I don’t know anything about him. I think he said a long time ago something bad. When they say bad about me, I don’t forget.”

Asked if the President’s illogical remarks showed he was showing signs of serious and advanced cognitive impairment Ms Leavitt said she had a comprehensive response.

“This is it,” she declared as she wielded a large semi-automatic rifle at reporters in the White House briefing room. (below)

“If there are no further questions I’ll close this briefing,” she said and did.

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