

WASHINGTON, DC: President Donald Trump says he has more ideas to “beautify” the US capital in addition to his plans for a ceremonial archway on the National Mall. (below)

Mr Trump said the new arch would be built of marble and topped by a solid-gold statue of a winged angel.
“The First Lady, my lovely wife Stormy… I mean Ivana, no… Marla… oops,” he said.
“No, wait, wait … Melania, yeah Melania,” he added after an aide passed him a note.
“Melania has agreed to pose nude for the angel which will ensure it is a very, very beautiful, tasteful, and also very dignified addition to Washington because she’s got a great grabbable pussy, last I saw it.”
The President said he was not finished with his plans to beautify Washington DC.
“I’ve already added a beautiful big flagpole to the White House grounds and I’ve had that smelly old Rose Garden paved over,” he told reporters.
“You’ve seen for yourselves just how well the two are working together. Just as I planned they would.” (below)

“But I’m not stopping there,” he said. “In a few days I’ll personally be in an excavator demolishing an old run down and redundant building here in Washington.
“In its place I’ll be building a beautiful big statue of me,” the President revealed while displaying an artist’s impression. (main picture)
“As you can see it’s a very good likeness. My hands are quite big and contrary to deliberately baseless rumours spread by the left-wing fake news media, so is my newsom.”
Mr Trump said the site for the new statue meant it would be seen by thousands of people each day.
“I’ll be knocking down the existing Supreme Court building across from the US Capitol,” he said. “It’s a very good location for this sort of thing.”
When asked to detail the location of a replacement Supreme Court building, he added: “Oh, we won’t be replacing it. We really don’t need it anymore, so why waste the money?”

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