Here beginith lesson #89 in the wonderful craft of subediting, once more aimed at the clowns who, when not falling over for laughs, jokingly call themselves production staff at The Sydney Morning Herald.

We’re not sure it’s lesson #89. It would have to be close though. And sadly, for a very long time now, we’ve failed as bitter and twisted old hacks who still fancy themselves as fourth-estate educators. But here we go again. We’ve promised never to give up on this campaign.

Our latest lesson in subbing basics is to Wednesday night’s subs who have once again fabulously fucked up how to folio the book when it has a four-page advertising wraparound and our subs can’t be bothered to check how the edition is numbered the moment they sit their lazy unprofessional arses down for a shift. (we now have a shortcut key for this paragraph!)

Sigh! One more time then. And we’ve never tried graphics before in the faint hope of an eventual breakthrough so here goes!

So what did you bozos do on Wednesday night, inbetween squirting one another with fake flowers and barping your noses to much hilarity?

FROM PAGE FUCKING ONE! The MGH could maybe at least praise you for consistency.

Some time ago, three stories continued from PAGE THREE claimed the trifecta: From Cover Page; From Front Page and From Page 1! Until Hardly Normal came along, never in the history of the printed newspaper had page three ever been thought of as the cover page, the front page or .. worst of all but only marginally worse … page fucking one!

SQUIRT! SQUIRT! HONK HONK! FART CUSHION NOISES! “MUST BE TIME FOR A SMOKE OUTSIDE, CHAPS!”

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