WASHINGTON DC: The White House says US President Donald Trump has sent his thoughts and prayers to anyone who may be left alive after he launched a missile strike on Moscow, a small town in the mid-western state of Kansas. (main picture)

All 300 residents of the small farming centre are believed to have perished in the attack which observers suggest may have been centred mistakenly on the community’s “missile silos” which actually contained wheat.

In a rare admission, presidential press secretary Karoline Leavitt (below) said Mr Trump had conceded that he had ordered the strike on “the wrong Moscow”.

“The President would never have knowingly sent missiles to Moscow in Kansas since it’s a state he won in the 2024 election,” Ms Leavitt explained.

“He was actually meaning to wipe out Moscow in the state of Maine (below) which is a blue state won by corrupt, sleepy, senile, sex pest Joe Biden who is more than like long dead but will not be granted a state funeral.

“He has re-issued his original orders, but this time the missiles will hit the lawless crime-ridden town of Moscow in Maine any second now.

“The President is determined to eliminate radical, criminal, left-wing groups like antifa who infest places like Moscow in Maine or indeed any town in any blue state. They are all in the President’s sights in the lead-up to his inauguration in early 2029.

“He is adopting this new method to eliminate political opponents thanks to a chat he had with Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu who is finding this type of action very helpful in ridding the Israel Riviera of pesky political opponents.”

Ms Leavitt also vehemently denied that the President had meant to obliterate the Russian capital as means to bring an end to the war in Ukraine.

“No, the President was not aiming at striking the Russian capital,” Ms Leavitt said. “That’s ridiculous. Why would he?

“After all he is keeping his promise to end the Ukraine war within a day of taking office and he has some time left before that deadline expires.

“The President made it very clear when he made that commitment that he was talking about solving the Russia-Ukraine war in one day, based on the length of a day on the planet Venus which is almost 250 earth days. So any suggestion he is breaking that promise is just fake news,” she said.

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