MELBOURNE: A snap poll here by commercial radio station 3AW has found a resounding 76 per cent of listeners who responded have rated Snoop Dogg’s pre-match gig at the 2025 AFL grand final as “embarrassingly amateurish and instantly forgettable”.

The poll was conducted by controversial shock jock Neil Mitchell who admits even he has been shocked by the response to the performance of the American rapper and some of the comments listeners were asked to record as they lodged their votes.

“Snoop Dogg has made Meatloaf look like the consummate world-class performer he always was,” one listener said.

“How come they always leave the C off the beginning of RAP,” fumed another.

“Did the AFL really think having Snoop Dogg singing his one so-called hit over and over again would satisfy 100,000 people who’ve paid good money to see real entertainers!” was another common response.

As was: “Just like impressionism was created for artists who couldn’t paint, rap was created for people who can’t sing.”

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WASHINGTON, DC: Former Australian Prime Minister Scott Morrison has taken time out from helping design Australia’s AUKUS submarines to issue a short statement here expressing his sadness on the elimination of his most beloved sporting team at the hands of the Melbourne Storm last night.

“Apart from the honour of being prime minister for four years, my other great achievement in my life was to be the No 1 seat holder for my local NRL side in the Shire and to hear they’ve been bundled out in the preliminary final at AMMO (sic) Park in Melbourne has saddened me greatly.

“There’s always next year and no-one should ever write-off the other love of my life, the mighty Cronulla Stingrays.”

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