LONDON: King Charles the Third has been arrested here overnight and is now being held in the Tower of London on a string of very serious charges up for Magistrates Court mention in the coming hours.

New Scotland Yard detectives swooped on Windsor Castle just outside the capital at around 3.45pm local time and charged the king with knowingly and wilfully using a carriage service to promote and promulgate the activities of a 34-criminal-count felon, paedophile protector and munitions supplier to Israel’s genocide in Gaza contrary to common law and any Clapham omnibus passenger’s sense of common decency (below).

Charles the Third, by the Grace of God of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland and of His other Realms and Territories, yes, he’s also King of Australia, Head of the Commonwealth and Defender of the Faith is expected to appear via video link in Westminster Magistrates’ Court later today Australian time.

VERY LATE UPDATE: Famous Australian-born barrister Geoffrey Robertson has just contacted The Bug to say the case against the king looks “more than just watertight” but it would be “terribly wrong if Charles ever ended up on the Tower green and facing the executioner’s axe without Trump also kneeling beside him”.

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