WINDSOR CASTLE, UK: Once again our beloved Royal Family from our beloved King Charles III down has shown the value of our beloved monarchy when it comes to deploying the kind of “soft” diplomacy our beloved Empire needs right now in its dealings with the mercurial US President Donald Trump.

The President’s latest and unprecedented second State Visit to the United Kingdom has been replete with examples of how our Royals are willing to do their duty to ensure that Great Britain and its loyal and obedient dominions such as Australia maintain sound and friendly relations with a nation that was once one of its colonies.

The system of constitutional monarchy which we must tolerate means that the lower and generally untitled orders do, on occasion, secure election to office and are entrusted with the ruining, I mean running of the country.

This is the situation we now find ourselves in after the last UK election when Sir Keir Starmer became Prime Minister at the head of a Labour Party administration. Thankfully at least the PM has a title that someone such as Mr Trump can respect.

But during the current State Visit the political leader of the country has been vastly outshone by our King’s own willingness and ability to do his duty for his nation regardless of any concerns or doubts he may hold on a personal level about such a visit or his official guest.

This was evident from the moment the President landed on British soil and His Majesty and the Mr Trump gifted headwear to each other for the duration of the State Visit. (main picture)

Our King displayed his usual superb ability to engage foreign leaders in conversation by himself touching upon the subject of cancer, a topic that we know is close to his heart – or maybe not since Buckingham Palace has never disclosed what particular royal organ is the subject of this dreadful disease.

His Majesty bravely canvassed all forms of cancer with Mr Trump including, if my hearing from a discreet distance of his remarks are accurate, cancer on democracy which is a form of the disease I have not previously encountered.

The heir to the throne Prince William and his beloved wife Catherine the Princess of Wales also did their duty magnificently in welcoming the President and First Lady. (below)

Princess Catherine in particular was superb in the way she helped to maintain the dignity and seriousness of the State Visit by engaging Melania Trump in conversation about her 2000 nude photo shoot on her husband’s private jet. (below)

But it was Her Majesty Queen Camilla who – knowing full well the President’s admiration for younger females, albeit by just a year – went the extra mile and volunteered to attend the formal State Dinner at Windsor Castle naked and to sit beside the President who wore his sole military honour – a self-endowed Order of the Bone Spur medal. (below)

There Her Majesty engaged Mr Trump in deep conversation about a particular mutual, but now deceased, friend the President shared with the King’s younger brother Prince Andrew.

His and Her Majesties and the Prince and Princess of Wales also bravely endured the President’s address in reply to King Charles’s brief remarks at the State Dinner.

Mr Trump’s three-hour speech ended with him breaking protocol somewhat by asking if yet another State Visit might be on the cards in the near future, perhaps before his re-election bid in 2028 – “Third time’s a charm,” as he put it.

He then directed the royal heralds to strike up a fanfare version of the Village People’s YMCA to which he performed his usual awkward dance.

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