It won’t take long now, will it? 

With international condemnation growing faster than those residential towers in Gaza City and anyone inside them are being turned to ground-level rubble (above), Benjamin Netanyahu must surely be close to abandoning his genocidal ways in the Gaza Strip. The IDF will withdraw, the borders will be opened and humanitarian aid will pour in. 

Okay, let’s stop this right now because – boy! – do I have an offer to any of you BUGgers out there who think all of the above are going to happen any time soon.

I have a breeding pair of bottom-of-my-garden fairies going for a possible song!

And in my rather large backyard. I have some amazing historical bridges that I have acquired over time.

To be perfectly honest with you, parting ways with the original London Bridge, the much-fancier Tower Bridge, San Francisco’s Golden Gate Bridge, the Big Apple’s Brooklyn Bridge and several others will be very sad indeed, the only consolation being that with the warm summer months ahead, I won’t have to whipper-snip around all their footings.  That takes forever when you can almost hear the grass growing over the spring and summer months Down Under.

So there you have it. For anyone who thinks Netanyahu and his Zionist buddies will put an immediate end to the genocidal horrors they are inflicting on the Palestinian population in Gaza, and abandon their long-held, one-state solution, let the Dutch auction begin! Free home delivery for our mating pair of garden fairies anywhere in Australia but, sorry, removal of any of our historic bridges must be at the successful bidders’ expense. Auction ends at 1700 hours, AEST, on Sunday September 14.

Special second auction offer: win any one of our historic bridges in our main auction and tell us in 25 words or less why you believe Netanyahu is also about to cave into world pressure and surrender all plans for a Greater Israel covering all of Zionism’s historic and sacred lands by putting an immediate stop to settler incursions into the West Bank with the IDF’s help with the destruction of Palestinian olive groves and communities there with the one-state aim of making all former illegal residents take swimming lesson in the Jordan River and we’ll throw in Tasmania’s historic convict Richmond Bridge near Hobart for free to the best entry received! T&C apply.

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